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Old 12-08-2013, 02:45 AM
blacksofa blacksofa is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 11
Default Is it possible to go from Primary to Secondary?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We were in an open/poly style relationship. He is much more sexually comfortable/experienced than I am and we have different values when it comes to sex (and money, for that matter). Essentially, I reached my limit of what I was comfortable with and realized I could not accept the totality of who is his as my primary/boyfriend.

I also realized that over all I cannot be healthy in a committed/primary style relationship and it is not something that I want at this point in time. I have personal boundary issues and a lot of self love to cultivate.

However, I love him dearly and want him in my life and I feel we would work well as secondaries to each other. Essentially, I want to be my own primary partner and as our core values are different I don't see a long term relationship with him working. I feel if it were more casual/less committed it wouldn't bother me as much.

Has anyone ever done this successfully? I am not even sure if I could do it (and I wouldn't right now we are still healing) but I am wondering if this ever happens.

Thank you for any input
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