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Old 12-06-2013, 07:24 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 687
Default How to handle being vetoed or being on the bad end of an ultimatum

I was dating a guy for a few months. Not too long, we started talking in July-ish, met for the first time in August. It progressed quickly. Normally it takes me around 6 months to even start THINKING I might love someone. With him... I just knew so soon.

His primary partner, however, doesn't agree with how I approach relationships. Or she doesn't understand or something. After who knows how many arguments between them, an epic failure at me trying to talk to her and see if we could find SOME common ground, and all kinds of upset for everyone involved... She told him it was her or me. They've been together for years, live together, obviously plan to spend their lives together, so I knew what the choice would be if it came to it. I sincerely hoped it wouldn't, but it did so now we have to deal with it.

It just happened a few days ago. He and I have still been talking. Figuring out if we need to just stop completely and let each other go, at least for the foreseeable future. Or if we continue talking everyday and try to keep the connection we both value. Or something in between.

I'm so torn between not wanting to completely lose this man that I love. I am normally very guarded emotionally, but I have opened up to him in ways I never expected. I can hear the pain in his voice when we talk on the phone. The guilt. The sadness. The love.

I just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas, opinions, or advice. Breakups suck, sure, but this one feels a million times worse because I have no idea what I did that so upset her. It feels like she is just insecure and unwilling to actually let him love someone else, even though he obviously still adores her.

Any feedback would be awesome.
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