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Old 12-04-2013, 11:36 PM
confused88 confused88 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Default Being Supportive Vs. Letting Negative Things Into our R-ship

I just need advice on how to be loving and supportive of my bf wanting to be friends with his ex wife who hates me? How can I feel okay with him including her wants/needs in his decisions, when those decisions seem to be harmful to our r-ship? We are both new to the Poly concept, me more so than him as he had multiple sexual partners in the past (swinging with his now ex wife), so I am trying to do my best to understand and work on my side of things. He considers himself Poly but we are exclusive for the time being, I have always identified as Mono but am interested in exploring other options. He only wants a friendship with his ex-wife, she may or may not be interested in that with him, but nobody wants anything more then that. I just don't know how to align my hurt and confusion over him still wanting her in his life, when I feel like she has done nothing but be selfish, controlling, hurtful and mean for the last year. I have tried to be the bigger person over and over and accommodate his feelings, but I don't know if I am just setting myself up for more of the same with her or if by trying to love and support his choices, it will make our r-ship stronger and eventually she will be a positive force in our lives instead of a negative one.

Last edited by confused88; 12-04-2013 at 11:44 PM.
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