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  #21  
Old 12-03-2013, 05:18 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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I understand that. but having not known us, its kind of a messed up thing to say. but whatever, I see what your trying to say. and im sorry if it seems that way.

we did not confront her last night, she told us she was at home, and so that's what we have to believe.

the more that we are together, the more it feels like she wants to be with us. so its just going to take some time.

until then yes we will be "mellowing" out.
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  #22  
Old 12-03-2013, 05:36 PM
london london is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
She didn't feel like hanging out with you two the other night, and didn't want to hurt your feelings so she fibbed about being tired. I've done it myself, and I suspect most people have. Sure, it's a lie, a white one. I don't think this necessarily indicates that she would be a liar about things that are actually important. At worst, she's a bit of a flake. I am assuming you hadn't already cooked her a four-course dinner or bought event tickets for the evening, and her canceling didn't mean you spent the evening alone, you had your husband with you.

While I personally would prefer dental surgery, without Novocaine, over dating a committed couple as a potential "third," I sure would run far, far away from ANY potential partner who was stalking me on Facebook and wanting me to account for my time.
Oh, the hypocrisy.
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  #23  
Old 12-03-2013, 05:38 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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*confused*

hi London. its nice meeting you =)
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  #24  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:06 PM
london london is offline
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LOL, hi. I said that because that user was beating on about how one must be respectful and nice to posters if they want them to take their advice. It isn't that I disagree with what she said or the way she said it, it is just that she is completely unable to take the same back.
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  #25  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:10 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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i agree. I really didn't like being called a stalker. especially since im new here, and to this whole thing. I need kind and sensitive rebuttal, not criticism of how im handling a relationship. lol
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  #26  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:26 PM
london london is offline
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You know, I struggle saying to a romantic partner that I need some alone time, especially because i dont have free time in abundance. Recently I've had to literally practice saying to my partner that I need some me time thus won't be able to see him until later on that weekend or week.
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  #27  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:34 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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I would have preferred her say that she needed time, rather than telling us something different.

we don't take offence, we understand. were not down her throat with crazy accusations.

one step a a time, is my mantra for this situation.
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  #28  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:40 PM
london london is offline
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Yeah, it wasn't any partner making me feel like that, just a mixture of British politeness and being eager to please.
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  #29  
Old 12-03-2013, 06:44 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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were not British, but we are eager to please.

(having not had sexual anything yet, we are super eager to please lol)
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  #30  
Old 12-04-2013, 07:10 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
From the Wikipedia entry on "stalking": Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person.
I disagree that noticing the posted location on someone's facebook message even remotely counts as stalking. It's not obsessive, it's not harassment, and given that they're dating and the woman was messaging her willingly, it's not unwanted attention.

Words like stalking used for dramatic emphasis might get your point across, but they detract from the ability to have an open and honest conversation. It derails the discussion into defining what is and is not stalking.

I assure you, no court has ever issued a restraining order for noticing that someone lied on facebook. Just sayin'.

hersweetleaf... I'm curious why you didn't just call her bluff at the time, rather than hang on to the upset and make it a big issue when it probably doesn't need to be. "Hm, that's weird... I know you said you're at home, but your facebook shows that you're at the Starbucks on 1st Ave..."

BTW, that location thing isn't even 100% accurate. If you turn GPS off, it sometimes remembers your last known location. More than once, I've had it pin me at places I'm not. I'm not sure I would actually trust facebook over real humans.
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