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Old 11-30-2013, 02:30 PM
EpsilonLyr EpsilonLyr is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, U.S.A.
Posts: 27
Default New poly, first "date"

Ok guys and gals, first off this forum is a beautiful thing and I am so in awe of all who participate. I received some amazing support a few years back with a different situation which ended uneventfully, but now things are getting, um... interesting again.

Been with my wife Leigh for 9 years, married 5. We've both had feelings for other people but she still identifies, oh, 85% mono whereas I'm heavier on the poly. We've never opened our relationship, but by some crazy cosmic serendipity we been having some honest conversations about poly recently. She knows I identify with poly - in theory - although I've been practicing mono forever, and loyal too. I think Leigh's receptive, which is amazing. Hell, just last week I showed her some great articles about poly and the next day she asks me, "do you want to modify the terms of our relationship?"

I do. I really do.

I recently met someone that I am crazy about, Anne. We hit it off immediately, common interests, her flirting, me back, you know the story. Sparks are flying on my end and I can sense that she is attracted to me but I suspect she's holding back because of the ring on my finger. Problem is, I've been afraid to mention my wife, my poly leanings, etc. cuz I don't want to kill the mood between us.

So my question: How should I go about this?

Leigh knows about Anne. I admitted I have feelings for her. So without knowing just how freaked out Leigh will be when I try to open our marriage, the real issue on my mind here is Anne. We've only been on one "date" (yes Leigh knew about it) and it was amazing, but a guy doesn't just come out on the second date and say, "Hey girl I'm crazy about you and oh by the way I want to open my marriage for you." I reiterate... we've only been on one date. Wouldn't that just kill the thrill of the chase? I don't want to throw all the mystique and charged energy out the window by laying it all out there like some business merger. She's got me hooked and I don't want to screw it up. How do I go about easing Anne into the idea, telling her without being so obvious? Thanks all.
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