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Old 11-01-2013, 12:51 PM
javagrendel javagrendel is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1
Default Greetings from Canada!

Hi there! I am 43 and I have been in a common law relationship with my poly partner for 9 1/2 years. We have 4 kids - my daughter is the youngest, and she has 3 sons, all older (they've graduated HS, my daughter is in gr. 12).

I am the monogamous half of our relationship; we have an inside joke that I am poly-flexible - meaning that while I have all the usual angst about her seeing other people, I 'get' poly in the sense that I understand that it's an orientation, and it's not about any inadequacy in me.

I am here to learn more, and tap this community for advice and support. I haven't had a chance yet to explore all the forums, but I am hoping to find others with experience in my situation - from both sides of the equation.
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:08 PM
crackedpleasures crackedpleasures is offline
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Metro DC Area
Posts: 19

I feel I should post here first but I'm not great at these things when first typing them so I will likely edit later!

I've been polyamorous in an emotional sense since before I can remember. That was difficult. I've been polysexual since I was sexually active. (I don't always separate those two things but sometimes it's useful).

I'm in a very long term marriage. We used to date together years ago, then closed the relationship (though I always stayed emotionally open). For a period we were mono-poly, with him being the monogamous half. Now we are fully open again with me having the same more emotionally based relationships I've had for years and him experiencing everything as "new again", both of us with more knowledge.

I work and commute A Lot. I have a physical/mental issue that affects my energy levels and makes the work/commute a situation of working then recovering to work. I like movies, music, my loved ones, self sufficiency, old things, a bunch of other mundane things, and a bunch of off the wall stuff I would only reveal to close friends.

I'm here to process our "new" situation. It's been years I've been on a poly forum. I've tried to get out to local groups but it appears I can't commit enough time vs energy to get out.
Love. Love is a verb. Love is a doing word, fearless on my breath.
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Old 11-07-2013, 05:21 AM
JCFunshine JCFunshine is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Smile JC in Detroit

Hi, I'm a thirty-something year old woman who loves to be outside, to be silly, to teach and to learn, and to develop relationships. My husband and I have been married five years. I recently brought up the idea of being polyamorous because I am constantly finding myself getting close to other guys. I enjoy getting to know people; I love to talk, and I love to flirt. I wanted a way to be able to explore this without having to lie to him. I've messed up a lot of relationships by cheating and have always struggled with the fact I hurt those I love the most. We decided that polyamory might be a good fit as I would like to have these other connections and he would like to explore some things outside of my somewhat vanilla comfort zone. We function great as a team and individually and have definitely improved our communication skills lately. So here I am in. We are still in negotiating stages, and trying to figure out how to meet other people who are like minded.
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Old 11-21-2013, 08:42 PM
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Garriguette Garriguette is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: California
Posts: 63

I'm a grad student in her mid 30s. Xicot, a computer programmer in his mid 30s, and I have been friends since our late teens, have dated for the last nine years, and live together.

Xicot realized a couple of months ago that he was having non-fleeting romantic and sexual feelings for a woman he had stayed in contact with after meeting at a conference and asked how I felt about the possibility of him pursuing another partner. (Cue four days of freaking out on my part, followed by me settling down, apologizing for the freak-out, and asking, "Well, what next?")

The prospective new partner didn't reciprocate Xicot's feelings, but we're both trying to do our poly homework anyway. He's already made himself vulnerable by sharing new information about himself, and I've already identified what some of my insecurities are. Working through those insecurities now seems like the decent thing to do.

Xicot has been with me as a friend and/or lover through a vast amount of personal growth (coming out as bi, realizing that my parents' marriage is strong on commitment but not strong on happiness, dealing with the stressors of graduate school, seeking treatment for depression and anxiety). And I want to be supportive as he discovers more about what he wants and needs, too.

Though I'm bisexual, I'm monoamorously inclined. I do not think a poly-mono relationship with Xicot would be a deal-breaker for me. That said, I am not already as self-reliant as a number of the monos who post regularly here (nor as tuned into my own wants and needs). I'm working on that.
Mid 30s, mono.
Partnered with Xicot (poly-curious) since 2004.
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Old 11-22-2013, 01:10 PM
Bezigebij Bezigebij is offline
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 6
Smile Poly family

Hi all, I'm new in the forum and as I find all your post really interesting and constructive, I would like to share with you also my experience. I'm 37 years old, married 2 years ago with B and almost 2 years in relation with S. I have 2 kids, One 6 years old (from a previous marriage) and another one 3 years old, son of B. Since almost 2 years I live in 2 different houses and running as crazy. Waking up in the morning with S and running on the other house to prepare the kids for the school. In the evening, when I go with S, I prepare the kids to go in bed and then I leave. B and S are fine with the situation, we all are really happy... but honestly I'm really tired. We are planning to go to live all together in some years... but for the moment... we will keep the situation as it is. Beautiful for everyone, kids included.. buy a bit stress for me. I consider my family a great big family. We are often all together, sharing the most important moments together, dinners, lunches, parties, Christmas..etc.. I can't live without them anymore, I can't imagine a single day without them anymore. We are a poly closed family, and also if we share holidays and daily life together, we also dedicate the right attention and time to the both couples. I love to consider our family like a small green garden with two big plants protecting and loving our 2 little flowers. I'm happy to have the possibility to share my reality with all of you and to have your support in all my ... questions and doubts...
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Old 11-24-2013, 08:31 AM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 360

Hello, my name is Mike, but you can call me by my self-chosen name of Starlight and online I usually go by ColorsWolf!~ ^_^

The best summary of myself:

I am everything, I am sadness, I am happyness, I am anger, I am madness, I am insanity, I am ultra mindedness, I am you, I am me, I am we, I can see all the possibilities of all worlds as the universes collide simultaneously onto my mind, I am many, I am one, I am nothing but I must be something for who will pour the tea?~ I might or might not be what you want me to be or what you don't want me to be, I am what I choose to be.~

In more details:

I am me and I like what I like, if you want to know more about me then please ask. I do not place labels on anything. Whether you place labels on people or not, things will probably at times become complicated. I would prefer to learn about an individual and their preferences rather than to assume to know everything about them based on the labels they claim to be.

My love is eternal, my friendship everlasting.~

I'm like a river in the wind, I'm always changing, always moving, always dancing, always singing, always free, for me there is always something wonderful in this life to smile about, I love everyone, I value freedom, I respect everything, and I advise you to make every moment count!~

I can easily change any thing and nothing is a permanent plan.~ More like a spur of the moment whim.~ I could desire something in this moment, but I wouldn't mind if it never happened.~ I have no regrets, I am happy in this moment.~

Go out there and love.~ Listen, I want you to know that I will love you if I feel it and once I do I will love you forever no matter what: I don't believe in the concept of ex-lovers for me personally and I will always love you and welcome you back into my life if you want to, but please don't be afraid to go out there and love. If you feel something for someone, explore those feelings: just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving everyone else and it doesn't mean you're not allowed to love anyone else, for every love is different and no love is the same as any other love and no love is greater or lesser than any other love for love can not be measured and every love is beautiful, unique, and wonderful.~

Love is free and it just happens regardless of any thing.~
If you want to talk me, then go ahead any time.~ If you feel any thing, go for it.~ You don't have to worry, there is nothing 'at the wrong time' for me: truly any time any where in front of any one talk to me tell me how you're feeling pour your heart and soul out to me it's ok, I will wrap you in my arms and love you forever doesn't matter if I don't know who you are.~

Please be honest with me: if you want to be with me, then tell me and be with me, but you will never be "mine" and I will never be "your's", we are always free to be as we choose, we decide our lives and what love means to us.~ I literally some times come and go like the wind, disappearing with or without prior notice, but I will always be your friend and maybe even your lover, but if you want we can disappear together, no matter how wild and free the dance is it doesn't mean you can't dance to songs of life.~ We may not be together some times because of circumstances, but I will treasure every moment that I am with you.~
Love yourself, you are beautiful!~ ^_^

*Believe in yourself, you can do anything*!~ ^_^

Appreciate every thing, every thing is precious.~

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 11-24-2013 at 08:58 AM.
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Old 11-26-2013, 07:57 AM
Taska Taska is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 2
Default Hi

Hello everyone,

I'm Taska, a woman nearing her thirties. I have never believed in monogamy and have never been in a monogamous relationship. My relationships have always been open, but two years ago I fell in love for the first time with one of my "outside partners" and me and my husband started on our polyamorous journey.

My husband and I have been together for five years and have been married for one. It's been quite rocky and still is. Then I have my boyfriend for the past two years. And for the past six months my husband has had a girlfriend.

We're still working out all the kinks, but my dream is that one day we can be one big happy family.
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Old 11-29-2013, 08:23 PM
tikalily tikalily is offline
New Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1

I was in a monogamous relationship for 9.5 years and we have 2 wonderful daughters, ages 4 and 6 with my ex husband. We are working through this co-parenting thing and are doing a pretty great job raising our girls separately yet together.
When my youngest daughter was born I realized that I had lost a sense of who I was. I went on a soul searching journey and by the end of it I realized both monogamy and my ex-husband were not for me as we have different views on marriage, relationships, and life in general (definitely a long story for another day ).
I am newish to polyamory (not really new, more returning to the lifestyle), with my primary partner and I being together for a bit over a year. We were just friends with benefits to begin with and neither of us realized we would fall in love with each and become such great partners!
I am bisexual; he and I share lovers and have lovers individually on our own.
I am here to read about other's experiences, share some of mine, and work through and understand all that I feel and process with my open relationship.
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Old 12-03-2013, 09:01 AM
thas thas is offline
New Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 3

I'm 21, an undergraduate student and I've had a suspicion for a long time that monogamy isn't for me. I haven't been in a serious relationship since freshman year of high school (obviously, your mileage may vary on if that counts as a 'serious' relationship ), but I'm actually becoming excited about the idea of a relationship for the first time in a long time as I continue to explore the likely possibility that I'm polyamorous.
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:55 AM
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Oldpolyman Oldpolyman is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Usually on the East Coast
Posts: 53
Default Our Traditional PolyFamily

New on here but not to polyamory, we call ourselves traditional because we identify as Non-Religious, Non-Monogamous, Adult, Polygamists.
Our story, 34 years ago my 1st wife, L offered to share me with her best friend, after H told her that there weren't very many good men out there. Later Wife L and H chose their friend M to be part of our family. Eventually Wife J entered our lives, after Wife L and H passed away.
During our working years (we're retired now) we maintained a low profile, the children were taught to call their other mothers aunt so and so, but these days we've come out to almost everyone. Wife J says I stir the pot since I wear two wedding bands, but found them to be great conversation starters.
I try to love my wives this way, unconditionally! Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. Eph. 5:25
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