Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 11-27-2013, 08:41 PM
Inyourendo's Avatar
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: sw missouri
Posts: 705
Default

Dis you agree that the 3 of you would have a baby or sis thwy as a couple make this decision without your input?

I'd thwy sis I would be concerned about your place in the family.
__________________
Sue, in openly vee with Nate (polysexual dating Jo) and Sam (Mono but open to poly)
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 11-27-2013, 10:07 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,476
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Csmarie View Post
But see, our relationship is different.
Different than what? Because she's not into sex, you mean? So, she's fine that you and her h have lots of sex and she doesnt need to?

Last time I checked, making a baby takes lots of fucking... I think on average it takes 6 months to get knocked up. Therefore she and her h will be wanting to have frequent sex around her ovulation. But it varies, of course. Could take one shag, or it could take a year. Or they might have infertility and need 3 years of grueling medical interventions... ya never know.

Quote:
I enjoy helping her around the house. I enjoy taking care of her and making her feel beautiful. And our relationship is not about sex at all. Sex is extremely rare as she already has a very low libido. She's already brought up how she'll be fat and we won't want her and she knows that she is beautiful to me no matter what.
Well, OK. If you love doing their housework, you might as well move in, eh? So you don't have to do your own housework plus theirs when youre there.

So. Let's say she gets pregnant easily, and the pregnancy is healthy. Baby comes. What is your role? Housekeeper? 2nd mom? Auntie? Big sister? Frequent babysitter?

What if you catch baby fever to a painful extent when your gf is pregnant? What will you do?? Never mind with their kid, their house. It will be your house, your housework, your lovers. But, they deny you the honor of carrying your own bf's child. Hm.

We had one member here who did get pregnant by her bf, but since he and his wife weren't "out" to their family or anyone, she was told the world would be told the wife was the bio mom of the baby, and would be called Mom, and the actual bio mom would be given the title of "mother" in Hebrew. Stealthy!
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32

Last edited by Magdlyn; 11-27-2013 at 10:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 11-27-2013, 11:49 PM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 822
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
We had one member here who did get pregnant by her bf, but since he and his wife weren't "out" to their family or anyone, she was told the world would be told the wife was the bio mom of the baby, and would be called Mom, and the actual bio mom would be given the title of "mother" in Hebrew. Stealthy!
Forgive me if I missed something but in that case wasn't it just at the 'talk' stage and that is what she was TOLD (not asked, I hasten to add, told IS the correct word) would happen once she had the baby?

Wasn't it also the case that she was doing all the housework in the house and didn't even have a car to use?
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 11-28-2013, 01:58 AM
Norwegianpoly Norwegianpoly is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Norway
Posts: 89
Default

I don't know anything more about your relationship then you are revealing here, but it seems to me that:
- you should voice your wish to move in with them (they already asked you not that long time ago, what is keeping you?)...and order a moving van once they confirm that they do, indeed, still want you there
- you should voice your wish to take part in the child's future - and also be specific about how you want that to happen, and ask for their visions of the future)
- you may reveal that you desire to be reassured that you are (going to become) an equal partner in any decition making that is going to take place. Do you want an angagement ring? a ceremony? love poems?
- alle the practical details, from who will pay the bills to who will do the housework to who will stay up at night when the baby cries, will need to be adressed.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
girlfriend, married couples, pregnancy, triad

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:24 PM.