Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 11-25-2013, 04:47 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,348
Default Compersion is not required

Other folks have focused in on what I perceive to be the root of the problems - the need to heal the marriage. Lots of good advice there - I hope both of you take it to heart.

I wanted to talk about compersion. I don't feel compersion. The closest I've come is that I know my partner's other partners make him happy and I accept that. But I have never felt the warm fuzzies some people describe. And that is is ok. Compersion is not a requirement to be poly. Not every poly person experiences compersion. It's not a goal to be achieved. It's not a failure if one doesn't feel compersion. It's a lovely benefit to being poly if it happens. But it's not a personal self-growth goal or an indication that one's personal work to be in a healthy poly relationship is done.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 11-25-2013, 04:56 PM
northhome northhome is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Western Europe
Posts: 173
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Compersion is not a requirement to be poly.
I second that. The best I can do personally is 'be comfortable and accepting with her having another partner'. It actually took quite a while and work to get to that point...
__________________
Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.

- Tao Te Ching
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-26-2013, 01:38 AM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,438
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by northhome View Post
I second that. The best I can do personally is 'be comfortable and accepting with her having another partner'. It actually took quite a while and work to get to that point...
I third.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:38 PM.