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Old 11-25-2013, 04:47 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,394
Default Compersion is not required

Other folks have focused in on what I perceive to be the root of the problems - the need to heal the marriage. Lots of good advice there - I hope both of you take it to heart.

I wanted to talk about compersion. I don't feel compersion. The closest I've come is that I know my partner's other partners make him happy and I accept that. But I have never felt the warm fuzzies some people describe. And that is is ok. Compersion is not a requirement to be poly. Not every poly person experiences compersion. It's not a goal to be achieved. It's not a failure if one doesn't feel compersion. It's a lovely benefit to being poly if it happens. But it's not a personal self-growth goal or an indication that one's personal work to be in a healthy poly relationship is done.
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