Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Fireplace

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #111  
Old 11-19-2013, 08:08 AM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,130
Default

I wish I could have taken a selfie this morning, but reaching for my phone would have broken up the moment.

I woke up to Meika curled up in her usual spot beside my pillow, and Pinky had managed to snuggle herself in between us. I'm pretty sure I rolled over and squished her, but she didn't seem to mind.
__________________
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Reply With Quote
  #112  
Old 11-19-2013, 08:27 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,718
Default

It would appear that you've a couple of snugglers on your hands.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #113  
Old 11-19-2013, 06:22 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,278
Default



Finally figured out this photo thing!

Thanks everyone who responded about my issues with Tiny Cat and not being able to sleep. I realize she is just being a cat. And she is healthy enough to be herself which I am actually grateful for. I did not think she would live this long given her initial diagnosis.

I continue to try and manage. I'm feeding her just before I go to bed which has helped greatly. She leaves mostly me alone when I go to bed or hangs out upstairs relatively quietly. Before I moved her feeding time she would want to interact well up to 1 am or later. I'm playing with her in the evening to tire her out a bit. I'm going to try some other things to see if they help. She regularly wants me up at 4 or 5 am though.

I would reluctantly give Tiny Cat to another home but am considering it. And I worry about giving Tiny Dog enough of what he needs and wants. He's been in the dumps about Tiny Cat being around and taking up some of my time. They get along - no fighting. But he is used to being my only pet and that is not true now.
Reply With Quote
  #114  
Old 11-19-2013, 06:54 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 794
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post


Finally figured out this photo thing!
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm not seeing the image, even when I try to load the link directly. Looks like the link in your post here is good (yay!) but the picture isn't there?

As for Tiny Cat, I'm glad that the night feeding is helping out. My two usually like trying to rouse me at about 5am as well, so there may be nothing much you can do about that. Patches will come in, and after a bit of meowing, she'll lay down with me. Baby is quite food-oriented, and only comes up to see me in order to nudge my face and wake me up. If that doesn't work, he goes over to my bedside table to knock things over. Lather, rinse, repeat. The brat.
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops: My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
My slightly more polished blog (external): From Baltic to Boardwalk
Reply With Quote
  #115  
Old 11-19-2013, 08:03 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,718
Default

Re:
Quote:
"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm not seeing the image, even when I try to load the link directly. Looks like the link in your post here is good (yay!) but the picture isn't there? "
Gosh I don't see any link, let alone a picture. Strange ...

Re: Tiny Cat ... unlike dogs, I think cats are rather inclined to give orders rather than to take orders. It isn't easy to "teach a cat a new trick." The cat pretty much has to see it as his/her own idea.

If the night feedings are helpful, then that's a bit of hope and progress. Though it rubs her nature the wrong way, there's a decent chance that Tiny Cat will still "bug you" at 4:00 or 5:00 a.m., but only briefly and then settle down next to you, having confirmed to herself that "It's not time yet." Cats can be patient when they want to.

Re: Tiny Dog ... I reckon you're probably dealing with the same problem as parents who give birth to a second child, or a polyamorist adding a new well-entwined partner to his/her life, or anyone starting any kind of a new and highly-committed relationship when they already have highly-committed relationships that need their attention. Unless Tiny Cat be adopted out, it will become Tiny Dog's cross to bear to accept a smaller amount of time and attention from you. There's no getting around that reality. In time you'll probably chance upon better opportunities to recalibrate how your time and attention is balanced between the two pets, but perhaps right now Tiny Cat is for all practical purposes demanding the "lion's" share.

Multiple relationships (and polyamorists and monogamists both have them, for there's unnumerable platonic relationships of varying degress of intensity to consider as well as romantic relationships) will always be hard to juggle, and you have to make wise judgment calls about how many relationships you yourself can adequately juggle within your own life. Perfect balance is impossible, and perfect fairness is virtually impossible. You approach the virtually impossible as best you can, and make your own judgment call on whether you get "close enough."

The bottom line is that you're facing a difficult puzzle that only you can solve, for you are the closest to situation and the best at knowing the details of the situation and the limitations of your own mind and heart. By no means try to be "Superwoman." Just accept/pardon/forgive the limitations you have (cause everyone has limitations of a range of types and quantities), and make the wisest choices you can on how to work around those limitations. Some can be overcome in this lifetime, but others are as permanent and ubiquitous as blindness or a missing limb. So maybe you can (eventually) adequately handle two pets, in terms of giving each the time and attention that he/she wants and needs from you. Or, maybe not. That's a call that only you can make.

Non-human people, like human people, also have their limitations, and some of their limitations are lifelong too. So like Patches, if you decide to keep your cat, your cat may learn to overcome some/many of her limitations (and/or instincts if you will), but not all. At some point you'll have too decide if you can live with the stuff that's too hard-wired within her to re-wire.

I know these are hard decisions and my long-winded post probably hasn't made the decisions much if any easier.

Good luck and may love conquer all,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 11-19-2013, 08:13 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,278
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm not seeing the image, even when I try to load the link directly. Looks like the link in your post here is good (yay!) but the picture isn't there? :confused
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Gosh I don't see any link, let alone a picture. Strange ...
I uploaded the picture into my album 'Pets'. I then copied the URL of the picture in the album into the post. Did I miss a step? I am stumped as to why others can't see the picture. I can see it just fine.

Forum friends, help?
Reply With Quote
  #117  
Old 11-19-2013, 09:27 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 794
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I uploaded the picture into my album 'Pets'. I then copied the URL of the picture in the album into the post. Did I miss a step? I am stumped as to why others can't see the picture. I can see it just fine.

Forum friends, help?
Is your album set to private? If I go to your profile and try to select the album, it gives me an error.

When you select your album, there are two options at the top right, one of which is "Edit Album" - select that and look at the two options at the bottom of the page it takes you to. You'll want to make sure "Public" is selected.

HTH!
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops: My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
My slightly more polished blog (external): From Baltic to Boardwalk

Last edited by YouAreHere; 11-19-2013 at 09:29 PM. Reason: Added instructions
Reply With Quote
  #118  
Old 11-19-2013, 09:28 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,718
Default

Regrettably, I confess that I'm a complete dummy in the field of post-pic-posting, so I'll just hope others will pass by and have some actual suggestions for you.

Regards always,
Kevin T.

P.S. Oopsie doopsie! No sooner do I post that post, than when I discover that YouAreHere already had a suggestion. I believe that makes me slow on multiple levels ...
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

Last edited by kdt26417; 11-19-2013 at 09:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 11-19-2013, 09:42 PM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Default

I've said my feelings on "pets" and no one hear has convinced me to change them in fact every one's replies only reinforces my views of these matters, and it seems I have had some mixed results with trying to get people here to understand my view points.~

That's fine though, I just hope some one here learned some thing from this discussion.~

Happy Thanksgiving every one,

I'm grateful for conversations like this!~ ^_^

Also visit my album for your photo fantastic viewing pleasure!~ ^_^

Love,

ColorsWolf
__________________
Love yourself, you are beautiful!~ ^_^

*Believe in yourself, you can do anything*!~ ^_^

Appreciate every thing, every thing is precious.~


Last edited by ColorsWolf; 11-19-2013 at 10:14 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #120  
Old 11-19-2013, 09:56 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Olympia, Washington
Posts: 4,718
Default

In any discussion about any hot-button topic, I seldom expect (or even hope for) anyone to change their minds about anything. Usually the best we can do is gain better knowledge about the subject, and perhaps a bit more appreciation for the reasoning behind the opposing view.

If I have disappointed you by not understanding (any or all of) your viewpoints, then I'm sorry to have failed you in that manner. I gave it a try.

And @ opalescent ... if all else fails in your pic-posting attempts, you could visit http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showgroups.php and ask a mod or admin for help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
__________________
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
adults, animals, children, humans, pets

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:12 AM.