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Old 03-25-2010, 06:19 AM
StitchwitchD StitchwitchD is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 77

We've gotten into conversations about how to define "romantic relationship", and what the difference is between dating, being boyfriend/girlfriend, or just being FWBs. (I'm inclined to label a relationship bf/gf if I feel like seeing the guy everyday, want a lot of life entanglement, long-term plans, and I feel a happy rush of sparkly brain chemicals when he kisses me. Other people seem to want to label my relationship as bf/gf if involves someone who identifies as poly, and who I'm okay with going on a date with once a week or so. This annoys me.)

The mindset seems to be that polyamory means having multiple ROMANTIC relationships, with flowers and candlelight and pet names and "I love you"s, and the big objection to this is "I don't want to have a Relationship with everyone I want to have sex with, I don't have enough time!".
So, merely having major life entanglement on a daily basis with people who you care about and have sex with does not equal polyamory. It seems to be more in both people involved labeling it as such. It doesn't really seem worth arguing about.
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Old 03-25-2010, 12:17 PM
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anon4now anon4now is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 17

I might be speaking out of place but I'm gonna say it anyway...

The 2 couples have been swinging for 2 years and "exclusive" for 2 months. Has it not occured to you to simply state "Whenever we bring up Polyamory, you guys seem very uncomfortable. Is that because we are putting too much emotion into this or what?"

Surely you all have talked about more intimate things than that... so why stop here? Do you really want to invest the emotions and intimacy into a relationship that isn't what you think it is?
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Old 03-25-2010, 01:51 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907

Anon4now, That was my thinking as well....But I think we're just going to take a lot of others advice and "fuggedaboudit" for now. If it presents it's self later in life, so be it. If not, oh well.

I think that living with someone is difficult enough. We will likely be all living together in future years. (The ideas have already been tossed up there of us all moving in together) Most likely AFTER our kids all move out. When times are good....we all spend a LOT of time together. We try to talk to eachother daily, although right now, we live about 25 miles apart.

It is definatly an emotional rollercoaster.....but don't most people PAY to ride rollercoasters? We're getting to ride it for FREE! LOL

We have had a lot of talk in the recent past about "when we 're all old....." and such. It's kinda nice actually.

Dunno why my wife and I are so hung up on the labels......Maybe a good ol fashoned camping trip will help?
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