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  #541  
Old 11-16-2013, 03:17 PM
HisPet HisPet is offline
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What not to do in response to NRE: he told me this morning that he did end up fucking the newest girl last night. He was extra affectionate, it felt intrusive to me in the moment. He told me he loved me and I patted his chest and said "that's nice" and walked off. I know that's not the right response but I had no idea what else to say in the moment (lame excuse I don't even believe myself). Why am I posting it here instead of in the blog section? Maybe I feel like I deserve to be publicly flogged for that terrible rejection. I used to hate how his now ex-wife used to do things like that, and I just did it
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  #542  
Old 11-16-2013, 05:57 PM
Norwegianpoly Norwegianpoly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HisPet View Post
What not to do in response to NRE: he told me this morning that he did end up fucking the newest girl last night. He was extra affectionate, it felt intrusive to me in the moment. He told me he loved me and I patted his chest and said "that's nice" and walked off. I know that's not the right response but I had no idea what else to say in the moment (lame excuse I don't even believe myself). Why am I posting it here instead of in the blog section? Maybe I feel like I deserve to be publicly flogged for that terrible rejection. I used to hate how his now ex-wife used to do things like that, and I just did it
Why just tell him; Sorry for being so flat this morning. I am happy for you, but your NRE really felt a bit intrusive. How can we make us coupe with NRE better?

NRE is wonderful, but not always easy you know. Don't beat yourself up about it. Saying sorry and trying to understand more of the dynamics works just fine.
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  #543  
Old 12-21-2013, 01:07 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Re (from HisPet):
Quote:
"I understand that when one partner gets involved in a new relationship, or meets someone exciting to them, that partner gets energized. Okay, makes sense. And yay it's super fun for them."
= NRE = New Relationship Energy
Re:
Quote:
"I've read that that it can bring new sexual energy to the existing relationship and the existing partner enjoys that new energy."
= RRE = Renewed Relationship Energy
In other words, it's enough of a "thing" to have its own abbreviation.

Think of it as a partner discovering a great new drink (such as the new holiday version of Jägermeister -- yum!), and bringing a bottle home to share. "Honey you've got to try this ..."

At least that's how it's supposed to be!

But I admit I've never been on the receiving end of RRE, so perhaps I shouldn't talk.

Re (from london):
Quote:
"I'm genuinely more into everyone because they've allowed me the freedom to have them all in my life."
Well put.

Re (from HisPet):
Quote:
"... general excitement about the fullness of life ..."
Also well put.
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  #544  
Old 03-13-2014, 09:10 AM
happytovee happytovee is offline
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Default How long does NRE last?

Just wondering what time frame NRE commonly lasts. At what point is it just good chemistry in its own right? Our poly-fi vee is six months old but we're long distance, flying to visit once a month for four days. Does the LD part extend NRE?
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  #545  
Old 03-13-2014, 10:11 AM
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graviton graviton is offline
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long distance definitely prolongs nre. Normally NRE can last up to a year. I imagine long distance could double that depending on frequency or length of visits.
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  #546  
Old 03-13-2014, 12:51 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Yes, long distance definitely prolongs NRE. Heck, I was just away from my 2 sweeties for 10 days of vacation, and we had intense reunions.

Normally if you are seeing your new SO regularly, weekly or more often, NRE can last 3 months to 2 years. 6-18 months being average.
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  #547  
Old 03-13-2014, 07:48 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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I think ld allows a relationship to hold more of the fantasy aspect. You don't see your partner at their worst. You don't see them sick with the flu. Under stress from work. You are not facing the drama and grind of daily life together. When you see each other it is special and not just Tuesday.

I am year 2 of my vee. Things now have slid into routine and daily life. I am still head over heels for both my husbands but we are beyond NRE.. We just have excellent chemistry.
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Last edited by Dagferi; 03-14-2014 at 03:09 AM.
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  #548  
Old 03-14-2014, 12:53 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Could be anywhere from a few months to 2 years, depending on circumstances and personalities.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #549  
Old 03-14-2014, 06:29 AM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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If NRE is real, I've been feeling it for three years now......
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  #550  
Old 03-14-2014, 06:30 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I usually snap out of it somewhere between 3 and 6 months in. That's seeing each other 1-3 times a week.
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