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  #11  
Old 11-14-2013, 12:27 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by 3waykiss View Post
Mrs. doesn't like watching me and doesn't know how to get over her jealousy if she isn't involved...so she doesn't like 3somes with a str8 girls. It has to be a bi girl into her too.
To be honest,this really will not help her jealousy issues. She thinks it will, because she will get some attention, but unless the attention is focused on her at all points and you don't spend any time being intimate with the new woman, she will get jealous! But this time the stakes will be higher because you are not just swinging any more.

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The reason we want to be exclusive is because we've been pulling back more and more since we are worried about diseases.
The most monogamist people I know have had STIs. It really isn't the best reason to seek exclusivity. And what have you got to offer a woman that she will miss out on having a primary relationship of her own? A chance to be married, a chance to be called Mrs. Smith, a chance to have kids, a wedding with her dad walking her down the aisle and set up her own home.

Can you give her that? And if not, why should she give that up permanently just because you want hawt FMF sex but don't want to risk the diseases that you assume are being spread through the swinger community?

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I would think that if we find a single "bisexual" girl
.

Are you looking particularly for a "girl" or are women allowed at this party?

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We even talked about finding a boyfriend for her and girlfriend if that's easier but the wife talked to another swinger couple and she told her don't do it! So she is also getting negative advice from other girls in the lifestyle that have been there done that and don't want us to try it.
And what reasons do they give in the swinger community about multiple romantic attachments that has you focused on this relationship style? Could if have something to do with avoiding women only into the man???

I'm afraid this happens fairly frequently in this situation, at least every other one I personally have heard of have suffered from this problem so, that won't help you either.

My suggestion is 1) Ignore the swingers, they haven't a clue

and

2) I would take a look at the dating and relationship section if I were you, there are goodness knows how many pages of unanswered profiles, more than anyone can count are couples asking for just the same thing as you are looking for. Might give you some idea of how popular this fantasy is.
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  #12  
Old 11-14-2013, 12:34 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Hi 3waykiss,

I am talking to the "Mr," it seems? We do have a rule in our Guidelines here that a couple may not share an account. If you insist though, please state who you are when you post. It really puts other members at a disadvantage to not know. But the fact that you started a shared account and used the term "we" in your OP instead of "I" shows how couple-centric you are.

Quote:
3waykiss
Swinger to Poly
We got into swinging because the Mr. was interested in a 3some and the Mrs. was bi curious. 10 years later we have found swinging is mostly couples and one of us always feels left out. For the Mr., he doesn't like losing his wife in the midst of playing and for the Mrs., she doesn't enjoy watching the Mr. We are very much in love and we prefer being together in a 3 way connection.

Our best experience has always been with a bisexual girl but that is very hard to find.

We want to find an exclusive bisexual girlfriend instead of swinging...

We thought about gay clubs but worried that might attract the wrong type. We tried meeting single vanilla girls but that doesn't work.

Do we try monogamous sites with girl looking for girl?
Do we try dating separately and be honest until one of us finds a good match to bring home?
I see why you want to get out of swinging. You want a bi woman who will give you both sexual attention in 3way sex sessions. You don't want another guy around because the nasty swinger dudes have a habit of taking off their condoms partway through having sex (really?? What the fuck, swinger dudes?). You don't want a STD.

It seems you are not as polyAMORous as some couples that come here with questions (or to put Personals ads in our forum for that). You are polySEXUAL. You really get off on being in FMF (or is it really FFM?) 3somes. You want someone to commit to you both for SEX and not much else beyond perhaps casual socializing? You are wondering where all the hot bi babes who want sex with a male and a female simultaneously are?

Women are notorious for being picky. I am hella picky. We don't just drop our drawers for any man (or woman) and are even less likely to drop our drawers for a committed couple, unless we are really drunk. Another poster upthread took a lot of time to list the reasons why.

It's really an almost impossible quest. I'm sorry. It just is. Your questions about how to find this HBB are good ones. There is no answer though.

My best suggestion, other than being constantly searching, constantly rejected, is to look at your joined at the hip attitude and see about becoming just a little more independent (if you desire extramarital sex really badly). There is a lot to be said for dating independently, but it depends on working through those jealousy feelings, which can be done.
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me: Mags, 58, living with:
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