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Old 11-12-2013, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by willowstar View Post
London, I understand what you mean by this. Yes, making demands that a certain partner "has to" socialize with the family can come across that way. However, I wonder if perhaps these people are craving or desiring community. I know quite a few poly people who prefer "inclusive" love styles, where everyone knows everyone else. And stating that they would like the new partner to be part of the "community" is okay, but I agree the individual should be free to decide how much they would like to interact with that community...
Even in our V, I can still feel "smothered" in this way. I LOVE people, don't get me wrong, but I don't like feeling that someone is trying to bash their way into my "inner circle" - that's up to ME, not them - and I will push back when I feel that happening.

Not sure what my point is, other than I think you have a good point, and it's a good idea to be mindful of this in any configuration.
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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