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Old 11-12-2013, 04:26 PM
teadaze teadaze is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: troy, NY
Posts: 8
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Hrm.
She is an ex from his high school days.
I could have some foolish bias against prior relationships.
But whatever the issue, I agree I need to reevaluate my stance, and continue our communication on this topic.

I am nervous to do this.
We have talked briefly about what he would do if I asked him not to date her at all. He said he might date her anyway.
One of the things we said in our relationship is no rules no stipulations. Only be considerate and exercise communication and protection. He wants the freedom to invest in any type of relationship he wants.
So if I back off and say don't do it near me, I'm putting myself in a spot where I can't share in their happiness and must strain myself regularly to be okay with it. If I say no, whether or not he listens, I am being inconsiderate and selfish.

In a book I am reading, it fortifies the importance of regarding new relationships with a positive outlook. That my partner loves me enough to want to share his experiences with me. That it is usually met with hesitancy and doubt. And that succumbing to jealous feelings is falling back on bad habits learned from unspoken rules of monogamy. It sets me up for expectation and I resent the unfavoring results.

I am truly trying to better myself in this situation without bringing them into every paranoid thought I'm going through. They don't even know i posted here. Heh. Some things I think are better left up to me. Well. And to all you who I am sharing this with I suppose. I thank you for discussing this sensitive matter with me. Kinda feeling likes there's so much pressure that I must be alright with her or I am going to suffer because he will anyway and he will suffer because I won't enjoy it.

All because I am paranoid of things I shouldn't be.
I am failing to take personal responsibility by the way I am handling this matter. And I want to change this outlook. I will readdress this matter with him after I've thought about your posts a bit and see how I want to approach this.

Thank you for being supportive in this everyone. I'm sorry if I loaded any of you with drama.
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Tags
confusion, jealousy, veto

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