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Old 11-11-2013, 05:58 PM
HisPet HisPet is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: So Cal
Posts: 36
Default NRE brings fun to the existing relationship?

Hello all. I've read here about something I don't quite get and would like your perspective, which might help me develop a new perspective. I understand that when one partner gets involved in a new relationship, or meets someone exciting to them, that partner gets energized. Okay, makes sense. And yay it's super fun for them. And often I can get excited for them.

I've read that that it can bring new sexual energy to the existing relationship and the existing partner enjoys that new energy. Logically I get that we each bring the energy of our experience to our interactions. After big day at work I'm sure I bring that energy home, whether its stress or triumphant, even when I try to shake it.

I get it on some level but it creeps me out. I don't want that outside energy smeared on me. It's like having a drunk make a pass at me - yuck. For me it's yuck its because its not about me but about the substance they ingested (unless of course we are both drunk then it would be a party). The more aggressive advances my partner makes at me after a hot flirtation are really distasteful to me, because it feels like he brought a 3rd party into our bedroom and I've become an object. In BDSM objectification can be fun but for some reason it's not in this case. If you enjoy that added sexual energy would you tell me about that please?

Full disclosure: I am very mono leaning. While I have enjoyed fun threesomes in the past, right now my overall sexual interest has declined about 85% from a fairly high state. I'm hoping that this sharp decline in libido is transient and only due to menopause.
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Me: mono, 52, serving S in a PE relationship for six years, living together since April 2012
S: has been poly since he can remember, 37
A: His new girl, under consideration
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anxiety, boundaries, children, children and polyamory, co-dependence, co-dependency, communication, compromise, coupledom, dependancy, divorce, excuses, expectations, feeling ignored, foundations, introduction, justifications, lessons, limerence, long distance, mono / poly, mono/poly, new relationship energy, new to polamory, new to polyamory, nre, nre overflow, nre timescale, responsibilities, romantacies, secondaries, secondary, secondary feelings, separation anxiety, vee

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