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  #1  
Old 11-06-2013, 09:16 PM
beautifulansuz beautifulansuz is offline
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Default introducing poly to potential other partners

My partner and I have recently started...er..picking up people is the best way to put it I guess. Well, rather, we are attempting to pick up other people. Rather than casually wait for more partners to fall into our laps (mainly mine), we've finally discussed actively looking for more people to join us. As he has another partner already, this is primarily for me.
I'm curious: how do other people introduce the topic of an open poly relationship, when trying to find out if other persons find it acceptable/even know what the crap it is?! (tangent--I got hit on by this super hot interesting girl and when I brought it up she was like 'omg wtf is an open relationship? I'm open to a relationship with you...? *facepalm*)
Neither of us is completely out (thank you full time employment?) so short of advertising to all and sundry the specifics of our relationship--we just go with 'we're in an open relationship. wanna join/?'
It's not working so well....
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  #2  
Old 11-06-2013, 09:42 PM
london london is online now
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Maybe join some dating sites and look for people separately rather than making it sound like you want someone for a casual threesome.
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Old 11-06-2013, 10:26 PM
beautifulansuz beautifulansuz is offline
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sorry. I realize that was ambiguous. We don't actually approach people together, but whomever is speaking to the potential partner says 'I'm in an open relationship...etc'

And we are on dating sites...both separately and together. Oddly, the threesome requests seem to happen more frequently and that is not what we're trying to advertise.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:46 AM
london london is online now
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Maybe you should outline or give some sort of indication of what you can offer a partner despite already being in a relationship.
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Old 11-07-2013, 09:05 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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The threesome requests may be because of the language you use. If you keep talking about "we", "us" and "our", then you're presenting yourself as a package deal. Try "I", "me", and "my" for a while instead.

Look at the difference between these:
Quote:
Originally Posted by beautifulansuz View Post
My partner and I have recently started...er..picking up people is the best way to put it I guess. Well, rather, we are attempting to pick up other people. Rather than casually wait for more partners to fall into our laps (mainly mine), we've finally discussed actively looking for more people to join us. As he has another partner already, this is primarily for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Someone pretending to be beautifulansuz
After discussing it with my partner, I have recently started...er..picking up other people is the best way to put it I guess. Well, rather, I'm attempting to pick up other people. Rather than casually waiting for more partners to fall into my lap, I'm going to actively look for someone. As he has another partner already, this is for me.
The first one has "team dating" written all over it which in most cases seems to mean "threesomes only need apply". The second treats you more as an individual.
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