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Old 03-21-2010, 03:59 AM
Honestheart's Avatar
Honestheart Honestheart is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 91
Question Polyamory and affairs

Can you have an affair if you are in a polyamorous relationship?
polyamory for me is about having an open and honest relationship that thrives on open and honest communication. without this, it just doesnt work
so...here's the thing. how do you deal with your partner hiding another lover/partner from you?
for example
lets say you dated somebody and your partner knew about that relationship. that relationship broke off for whatever reason. you then again engaged in a relationship with that same person you broke up with but this time you did not tell your other partner until months later.
you've always had the understanding with each other to be upfront about interest BEFORE you dated...
would this be considered an affair?
I personally don't think so, after all you are in an open type relationship in dating others while still dating each other... you were just beign true to your heart. altho i do agree that it is a serious concern that needs to be addressed because it is a breach of communication and honestly but i dont think its an affair. i really dont think its possible to have an affair if you are poly. because the flip side to this is, isnt polyamory about being tru to your heart and all the possibilities it provides in that you can and do fall in love with more then one person at a time. then again, if you and your partner turly beleive this then why hide other partners from them?
does anyof this make snese?
anyways looking for thoughts as this came up in a relationship and i was wondering what people thought.
disagreements? anybody care to comment?

does anybody know of any support systems out there for situations like this?

Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-27-2010 at 02:21 PM.
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adultery, affairs, break ups, cheating, love triangle

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