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Old 11-05-2013, 03:07 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,091

I am very sorry this is the outcome.

But I am glad you finally did have the conversations to clarify where you all stand.

I hope you are able to heal in time.

hang in there!
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Old 11-05-2013, 12:19 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,474

Originally Posted by polywannacrackeryo View Post
Hello, everyone. I am devastated as I write this last post. I just broke it off with my gf. I talked with her about all of my concerns that we've all been discussing here on this thread. After an hour of talking, she finally admitted that her feelings for me have waned. Her exact words were, "I didn't really even realize it until we started talking about it".

I am beyond devastated. But in the end, I know I cannot be with someone who doesn't feel the same way.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time to walk me through this very difficult time. I am indebted to you all.
I am so sorry things turned out this way. She played with your body and your heart. It seems that all too often a couple will treat a single woman they have a dalliance with in this way. Fun for a while, but ultimately disposable. But you and she were doomed almost from the start. Loving her, you felt you wanted a one on one thing with her, but no kids. But she's got a life partner and they want a baby... not a girlfriend.

I sincerely wish you well as you heal from this. Hopefully you've learned more about yourself and will have the best of luck finding the woman of your dreams in 2014!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

A standing prick hath no conscience. --Bill Shakespeare

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 60, poly-dating, and loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 38
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Old 11-05-2013, 02:40 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,566

Sorry you're hurting. It does sound like it's for the best, though.

Consider it a learning experience -- and a blessing that it didn't drag on for several years rather than the short time you actually had. As you move forward, keep in mind what signs to look out for in your own behavior so that you can speak up sooner and more directly to advocate for yourself in relationships. I would also be aware of when you're getting so attached to someone that soon and find ways to step back a bit to see the present situation beyond that attachment. Always ask yourself: 1.) Do I feel respected? 2.) Do I feel valued? 3.) Do I feel heard? and 4.) Has this become more work and pain than joy and fun?

The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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conflicted, insecure, jealousy

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