Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #21  
Old 03-20-2010, 02:24 AM
thunkybunny thunkybunny is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 44
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
The crux is whether or not the slowest person is making an effort to work through their challenges as opposed to just putting up roadblocks to sabotage the whole process.
That's what I mean. In theory and in practice, there is no reason to expect the discomfort to subside just because other people slowed down or stopped seeing each other all together. The way forward necessitates discomfort. The question is whether or not the slowest person is willing to feel uncomfortable. I'd go further to say that pacing is not an independent variable. Power over others may be instead when there is a severe lack of self-awareness in the slowest person. The slowest person then is bullying, not negotiating terms.
Some people are habitually 'lazy' in their unwillingness to work at anything that involves discomfort. That would be a red flag: a poor work ethic, or possibly clinical depression (in which case it's likely best not to get involved romantically).
Let's not forget one thing. Extreme jealousy correlates with violence and abuse. Some people/relationships are not ready for poly (too much invested in a relationship or identity based on a relationship that changes seem like the end of the world).

Last edited by thunkybunny; 03-20-2010 at 03:17 AM.
Reply With Quote
 

Tags
mono jealousy, mono poly, mono/poly, monopoly

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:26 PM.