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Old 11-03-2013, 09:14 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Originally Posted by Misticbleu View Post
I ( the female ) am Misticbleu. Both Mistic and Bleu are mine together. We aren't sharing an account.
Nice to meet you, Misticbleu. Thanks for clearing that up. Since you used only "we" in your OP, I was confused.

As we have discussed and already knew how difficult it would be finding that ONE person that would fit into Our already established life and home, we have opened it up for both of us to date separately.
We are not only interested in 3somes ( been there ) and at first would like to keep it the three of us together for sexual encounters since it's all new and we're discovering each other but ultimately our goal is to be separate when the need or want arises for everyone involved. Sexually and for One on One bonding time.
See, I find this all confusing. First you said, upthread, you wanted "another woman in our relationship, our life," now, you say you want to date separately. But you want to start out as a sexual threesome. Well, if you're dating separately, you're still both only looking for someone who will also be interested in your spouse... What if this woman you date is only interested in YOU? Or a woman your husband finds is only interested in HIM? Or a woman goes on one date with you, casually interested, meets your man and bam! Planets collide, choruses sing and she and he find they are soulmates? She's not really interested in you at all, even as a friend, and only has eyes for him, and he's head over heels twitterpated about her, can't help it, even though you're not a part of it at all?

Do you dump any woman either of you meets and likes just because she isn't interested in your spouse? I ask because finding a person who is interested in both members of a couple right off the bat is rare. What is much more likely to happen is, you meet a woman, date her one on one for a while, become fond, she meets your guy, they like each other as friends (maybe, maybe not, but if they do), start to get attracted to each other, decide to act on it. This is the way triads usually develop naturally and organically. There is no guarantee it will happen though.

He's free as I am to text and email whom we please...
Yes, she would be able to express affection in public, I don't see why not.
Well, some poly people can't be out to everyone they know, as it would cause much family strife or job loss.

Our 'idea' of what we think would work best for us ( not knowing this other person yet or what they would want) is a Poly-Fi Triad. Are we stuck on that, NO.
Good. So, dating separately, each with their own partner, would satisfy if it were a reality, as opposed to the ideal of both sharing the same gf.

Can she be a mother, sure. ...
Will she be able to attend functions or family events. Sure. We have discussed this as well. My husband and I are already fairly open with our family. My family knows all to well I live my life how I choose and that's fine with them. I asked my husband about telling his family when we needed too and have a relationship with someone else and he agrees not to keep it a secret. Of course we're not naive in thinking talking about it and the reality of are different, but we'll surely cross that road when we come to it. That being said we have no plans to live in the closet. We don't now.
Also good. You're lucky to be able to be "out."

I hope I made it through the fire fairly unscathed...
Thanks again for your advice, direction and pointers
My ex grew up in North Central PA and I've been there dozens of times. I found it to be a pretty conservative area. Do you have much chance of meeting women who would be open to being in a poly relationship, either as a partner of one of you, or both of you?

If not, I suggest joining OK Cupid. I did and found it worked really well for me, not that it was easy finding just the right persons(s), but after much work and perseverance, I did! Good luck!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62), dating... again!
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
Kahlo (my ex, 46)

Last edited by Magdlyn; 11-03-2013 at 09:22 PM.
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