An Embarassing Insecurity

[LovingRadiance]

Yes-width is more important than length in many ways.

I have to add though-that there is a MAXIMUM length in my world, and it's a "not optional" maximum. I've experienced that after a certain length (roughly 7 1/2 inches) it's F-ing PAINFUL to the point of causing reactions of VIOLENCE from me.

So I simply don't consider a guy with anything longer then that worth my time considering as a romantic relationship option, because I won't be fucking them-EVER.

Ok guys-please continue on your conversation!

[SchrodingersCat]

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG

I am one of those guys that thinks about the difference in penis size..but what I find interesting is that we don't see women come on here worried about the size of thier vaginas There are differences but women aren't near as hung up on it as some of us guys it seems.

My vagina is really small. My Diva Cup actually sticks out by like 1/4" at least (Always blew my mind these women who said they could have sex with theirs in!)... I can reach my own cervix. Doesn't bother me in the least, except that I've never been happy with guys that have really big cocks because they would poke too hard and really hurt. So personally, I've always preferred small-to-medium sized penises.

[FitChick]

I find this interesting because my primary recently commented(and not in a negative way) that he could 'go deeper' with one of his secondaries...for me that simply means we have to be more creative with positions which is fun!

He is only average sized(as he calls it) but it's his ability to connect with me on the other levels of the relationship that give us our 'physical connection'. I know it's really hard not to compare yourself to him but if it makes you insecure on a psychological level then you need to communicate this to her and decide whether it's in both your interests that she is so open in her appreciation of him.
Its all a learning process and we all have different boundaries,so don't be afraid to express what is going on in your head. This is what I love about the poly relationship dynamic because it makes us into more loving individuals.

[Vexxed]

Some women do angle their hips in such a way, or have pelvises/legs shaped a certain way, that we feel like we can go deeper with them. It may not be true, but if feels like it at the time.

[NeonKaos]

Everyone is built differently, no two people are exactly the same (not even genetically identical twins), just like no two people's faces are exactly identical (not even genetically identical twins.

Learn it, know it, live it, and GTF over it.

[katharinerose]

A note on vaginas: Cervices (AKA, The End of the vaginal canal) move. A lot. Some parts of my cycle, my cervix is only a couple inches in, if that. Around ovulation, I have to try really, really hard to reach it and sometimes can't (and I have long fingers). When they get bumped they tend to retreat up, and during arousal it's the same. So the depth of a woman's vagina isn't a constant. Same goes for width. From some angles/positions there is a lot more room than others.

Which means that you can love a big penis (or hand or dildo) sometimes, and other times prefer something smaller, even in the realm of PIV (which is far, far, far from the be all end all of sex).

[Zanie]

IMO different sizes make for different pleasurable experiences. Smaller sizes can make certain oral things easier or more fun. Speaking as an orally fixated person, being able to fit it all in my mouth is very, very nice.

[Vexxed]

Originally Posted by katharinerose

Same goes for width. From some angles/positions there is a lot more room than others.

Which means that you can love a big penis (or hand or dildo) sometimes

What positions are better for more width?

[CFstasha]

Originally Posted by Zanie

IMO different sizes make for different pleasurable experiences. Smaller sizes can make certain oral things easier or more fun. Speaking as an orally fixated person, being able to fit it all in my mouth is very, very nice.

Yes. This. My husband and my bf are built very differently and both are extremely exciting. I know my husband has a lot of hangups over his size (for NO reason…he's LOVELY), and I'm sure there's a part of him that wonders what bf's packing, but he hasn't asked yet. The fact is, it's apples and oranges and that's what makes it so very wonderful. The trick will be, if husband brings it up and DOES ask, making the boy believe it.

Size does matter to a degree, but not nearly as much as time, attentiveness and enthusiasm.

[TrollE]

i often dont have "penis in vagina" sex with most of the folks i sleep with. i find it hard to get hard with people i dont trust very well.
i think this stems from a lot of fear and concern over pregancy and also some fear comes from doubts and insecurities about my size, but it has also turned into a measure of how involved im willing to be with someone.

because of this though i have more opportunity to work with the sexual tools i appreciate more anyways, like my toungue and my hands. i love going down on folks, much more than i like "piv" sex, so im kind of ok with it all.
also, i love bums, and being a bit smaller could possibly make that more of a possibility with lovers too.

there are upsides and many positives. also alternatives! dildos are fantastic. my friends have built themselves harness' for their dildos and they have fun fun sex. and really, no penis is bigger than your hands can be.