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  #21  
Old 03-18-2010, 03:07 AM
TrollE TrollE is offline
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Location: southern ontario
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im really into these questions. ive joined recently because ive been considering the distances (or relative closeness) between them.

What makes for a good friendship?

continual input from shared experiences and common interests. i need this. i find it difficult to stay in touch when i dont share a lot of everyday life with people. i my family i was born into might be the exception or possibly a lover/friend who lives on the other side of the country from me. i guess we have built a different kind of bond that can handle the distance.

How long does it take to become truly close friends?

im like a rising tide when it comes to this. i see it swelling but then it rolls back. then it swells once more and comes in a little closer, and rolls back again. slowly it overtakes the imaginary line i had where i thought the friendship was and becomes more and more important, closer and more relevant in my daily life.
but this example also shows that sometimes friendships recede and flow "backwards". this may not be true for everyone but i see it a lot in my own life.

How does non-romantic / sexual friendship compare and contrast with romantic and sexual relationships?

maybe this is just the place im coming from today, but i feel like sexualized friendships mean more work. i wish they didnt but it seems like most of the folks ive been with need a little more comfort and care.
im not sure why but it seems like that to me.

also non sexualized relationships seem to allow for more freedom and fluidity, and possibly, less responsibility to someone? i wish my sexual relationships allowed the same.

What is this whole "intimacy" thing?

im not sure. maybe because im younger, but i feel like often my intimate relations tend to slip into sexualized ones. im into learning more about differences and maybe even more self restraint in this area.

How important is friendship to me/you ... and why?

very important. i like companionship. i thrive on it. i also appreciate someone who understands where you are coming from and knows your fears and hopes. someone who can challenge us and support us is important.




also, i love being sexual with friends. it feels safer, smarter and often sexier cause you've had the chance to get to know each other.

in your experience folks, can you get both and maintain that long term? isnt that what what marriage was supposed to be about?
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  #22  
Old 03-18-2010, 03:04 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrollE View Post
also, i love being sexual with friends. it feels safer, smarter and often sexier cause you've had the chance to get to know each other.

in your experience folks, can you get both and maintain that long term? isnt that what what marriage was supposed to be about?
We've been totally successful in this regard. Probably for the reasons you mention (safer, smarter etc). To us it feels as natural as going out to dinner together - just a bit of a different menu

GS
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