Don't pay the anti-unicorn banter too much mind...there's a certain corner of the poly web that has an axe to grind where it concerns unicorn hunters. So unfortunately there's been a lot of conflagration of the unicorn term itself, with a lot of BS behavior which tends to correlate with it in venues like this...the places where people come to vent their woes...so that's all we usually see.
However, correlation is not the same as causation and the extra baggage that has been foisted upon the term doesn't actually belong there as part of the base definition. It certainly does not need to be presented as derogatory, particularly to the unicorns...although it is usually in the realm of at least condescending when used in regards to the hunters.
More importantly, if you with to wear a certain label, for ease of communication, identification, or whatever other reason that you decide it suits you, please by all means feel free to. I would expect other forum members to be respectful of that, and avoid slapping their own labels over-top since I don't think most would appreciate it being done to them.
Now, since there's not really much point in re-hashing the ongoing terminology debate here, since it's routinely flogged to death in other more appropriate areas of the forum, let's talk about your couple.
As much as I'm not a fan of applying generalizations to broad categories of people, the story of your individuals does bare many familiar marking of the stereotype. They seem new, and apparently wholly unprepared for the experience. I think others have already mentioned that you should trust your gut, and it sounds like you've already got a well established assertiveness where it comes to making sure you take care of you in this.
So it's really just a matter of figuring out what you want, and what you're willing to put up with, and when.
So the short list of choices as I see it...
1. Cut & run, and find a new couple that has the experience so that your own needs can also be actualized, as well as theirs.
2. Play the waiting game, and let them figure things out with someone else, and make sure they've really figured it out before you try them out again.
3. Take the plunge, grab the rollercoaster, and train them up yourself...
And as life tends to be the way it is...no guarantees are warranted or implied in any of these avenues.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb
How did I get here & Where am I going?
|couple privilege, doing things "right", love, unicorn, unicorn tale|