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Old 10-20-2013, 02:49 PM
polywannacrackeryo polywannacrackeryo is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
When you lose a loved one, it's common to want to talk about the pain and sorrow that you're feeling. No one would dream of responding to that with "Yeah, well, they're dead. You can't change that, so why are you talking to me about it? What am I supposed to do?"
Thank you. That helps put things in perspective. I suppose I just already feel like I'm the one out of the three of us who always has to talk about their feelings. I don't want to bombard them, especially with things that I know she'll feel erroneously guilty about. Yet, at the same time, I do recognize the significance of my evolving emotions, and keeping them from her would be like lying.

Maybe this entire relationship happened so that I could finally see what kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know. I went out with another girl a couple of times while I was with my current partner. I thought that perhaps that would help balance out all of my emotions. But I ceased contact with the other girl, because I wasn't into it at all. All I want is what I can't have... c'est la vie, I suppose.

I realize that I chose this. I chose to give this a try. It's no one's fault. Not theirs. Not mine. I just didn't foresee these emotions, and I'm not sure I can carry on with this much longer. Every day I spend with her makes me fall deeper in love with her. Therefore, it hurts all the more when I realize how different our desires for certain things are, like having kids.

I really wish I knew exactly what to do, but it seems like the first only logical step is just to spill my guts to her.
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Tags
conflicted, insecure, jealousy

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