Good Morning/Evening everyone,
I'm not sure where to start, or even what advice I'm looking for. Maybe I'm just looking for someone to say, "hey, you're not alone in this!"
For the past several months the girl and I had been talking about adding a sexual third wheel in to the mix. I'm Bi, she's Bi, and we both truly enjoy the company of both sexes. We started trolling CL (OMG that place hurts my brain) and then quickly escaped to the more sane(?) dating sites set up for that purpose.
After a bit of hunting, we found a couple on there that by description matched us in personality and lifestyle perfectly, and we decided to meet. Of course there were about 40 or so emails sent back in forth as we discovered a really great level of compatibility in personal tastes.
A meal later, we're all back and really "Enjoying" each others company. The girl had been slightly hesitant to explore other males, but after meeting him in person was a smitten as I was.
After the "fun" several hours of talking ensued, and everyone got an even better picture of each other. I mean after seeing someone naked you don't have much left to hide. So we chatted and talked and we (the other male) and I went off to go find drinks for everyone. Part of the discussion (that I later found out) was that the other male may be more poly, and the wife may be more swing, but not closed to the idea of poly.
So we met up with them, and their family a day later to just hang out (when I say there was great chemistry between us, I'm not joking. From books to music, to video games, to just about everything it's all scarily compatible. Their kids are awesome and know about their lifestyle. They are open and honest, and never want to lie to them, which is incredible to me.) We have an absolutely great time, watch movies, have dinner, and watch another movie.
So we go home, and the girly and I start chatting during the drive. For the life of me I never knew she considered herself poly. We spend literally 24 hours a day together, we live and work together and I never knew! I before now had never applied the label to myself, but have lived my life with the thought that love and romance can come from anywhere and either gender at any time, so it's not a far push to extend that to something past a monogamous relationship. Why can't another couple fall for another couple? So quickly adapting my personal views finding that poly is compatible with them, I say I might be interested in going down that road with her, if the other couple is keen on it as well.
Fast forward another week, another mass of emails exchanged and we meet up with them at their home again, with the intention of just hanging out and cooking dinner for them and their family and staying over to see a movie the next day. Their teenage daughter winds up at a friends house to stay the night, and once their younger one goes to bed (he went off to play video games while we all sat around in a giant cuddle puddle on the couch), we wind up "playing" again and everyone has a great time. The next day we all go out and watch a movie with their family, have dinner, come back, watch another movie, and then we have to go. For the love of god(s) if I didn't have to work today I'd still be there! Their daughter was trying to convince us to stay longer/overnight again so we could stay up late and watch more movies and we really wish we could have.
So here's the rub. I'm pretty sure both the girl and I are falling for them. We're also faced with the fact we are going to be in Japan for a month on business, and that we may be moving there in the fall for several years. The fiance and I are at a loss of what to do. Do we pursue it for more, knowing we might be going away for awhile, but eventually coming back? Or do we not let ourselves get emotionally involved since there will be a clear time of heartache when we relocate? We really are smitten kittens over them.
Hell I know what I want and what she wants, which is to go for it regardless of the move, but I worry about hurting them as well. We've ceased looking for other playmates on the swing side of things, we just don't want to play with anyone else right now.
I hope it's a good sign they took us home to meet their kids (who love us I hope, that's the impression I keep getting ) They know of the possible moving plans, and of our frequent travels, and we've been completely open and honest with them.
And having a completely willing partner in this does make it easier. We are both acting like teenagers together, and having someone there to talk/snuggle with certainly does make the sweet sorrow much easier to deal with.
vivamus dum licet esse
Ps. And a secret part in me hopes they read this to make explaining our feelings to them easier. Hiya Dinky and the Brain if you are reading this<3<3<3
Last edited by Kynoauin; 03-14-2010 at 02:42 PM. Reason: Spelling's hard!