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Old 07-01-2009, 04:32 AM
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Default Poly and single?

I'm pretty new to this forum having just discovered it, but I'd like to repost a discussion I posted in another forum to get some other perspectives.

I came into discovering my poly nature as a single person completely on my own. I've been open to having poly relationships, but as a single person, it seems that most to all of the poly relationships I've had involve me being a secondary to an already existing primary relationship. As I've said in some other threads, sometimes it can make me feel no less single than if I had no relationships. And also, as I was exploring the poly world I found that the VAST majority of the literature is aimed at couples who want to open up their relationship. There's very little out there for single people, and most of it is reduced to either a chapter in a larger book for couples or as a footnote. It seems almost everywhere I look for relationships and/or advice, I'm surrounded by couples who have other relationships branching from that primary one.

Do people find the world of poly to be a bit of a harsh environment for single people? It's almost like trying to jump into a jump-rope game that's already going really fast where everyone on the inside is singing their jump-rope song and enjoying a great rhythm. It's flowing great on the inside and next to impossible to join.

So are there poly single people out there? What are your experiences?

Thoughts? Feelings?
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privilege, secondary, single, solo

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