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  #141  
Old 10-13-2013, 01:20 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
We (the outside world) may understand this happens and can be healthy. But, please, talk about her as if she's a human being. Stop just telling us about how she's "improved your relationship with your girlfriend." Stop telling us about how much you and she love it. Tell us about the new girl. Tell us about what she's like, why you like her, why your first girlfriend likes her. Something that makes us think she's not just a sex toy for you.
A thousand YESes!

I, too, felt like I was reading about a new marital aid.
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  #142  
Old 10-13-2013, 01:21 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
I know those vomit worthy "success" stories really get my goat too. Often posted three weeks into the dream life long (obviously) relationship also.
I seem to recall a glowing post here on this forum about the great success of the poster's triad. When asked, it was about 48 hours strong.
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  #143  
Old 10-13-2013, 01:30 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
I seem to recall a glowing post here on this forum about the great success of the poster's triad. When asked, it was about 48 hours strong.
Words...fail...me....
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  #144  
Old 10-13-2013, 02:38 AM
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Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
I seem to recall a glowing post here on this forum about the great success of the poster's triad. When asked, it was about 48 hours strong.
Well, sure. On Earth.
In Narnia time, that's what... one year? Two?



("I'll bet they're closeted too...")
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #145  
Old 10-13-2013, 02:46 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
Well, sure. On Earth.
In Narnia time, that's what... one year? Two?



("I'll bet they're closeted too...")
Wayyyy more than that. Didn't they spend years in Narnia and show up back on Earth seconds later? So 48 hours in Narnia time is like a century or two.
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  #146  
Old 10-14-2013, 10:00 PM
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The true sign of a contemptible unicorn hunter: objectification of their prize.
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  #147  
Old 10-14-2013, 11:58 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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I suppose the only thing about that quote (in the OP) is that there were only two lines, so there wasn't enough space to talk about the complications, the discussions, the valuing of everyone's essential humanity (and human essence), the ups, the downs, the in-betweens, the not-that-great moments that are more or less the parcel of real life, and the doubts, fears, and other insecurities that we all carry around and (in some cases) see in each other (and in better cases, touch and interact with, safely).

If I think about how any of my poly relationships have come to be, my god, if only it were easy. It hasn't been easy. It's been worth it, but not easy.

But back to the quote: was this the whole quote? Is the only mention of the third person the word "her" and nothing else? Huh. Wow.
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  #148  
Old 11-06-2013, 04:05 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Default Triads, Unicorns, Unicorn Hunters, sexual 3somes, etc

Due to a closed thread... http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=59714

...starting a new one.

We get lots and lots of people here, couples looking for a unicorn, self styled Unicorns looking for couples. Sometimes it's 2 gay men looking for another guy, sometimes it's lesbians looking for another woman, but usually it's a bi woman/straight guy couple looking for a bi woman, or a bi woman looking for a couple consisting of a bi woman and straight guy.

Usually these unicorns and unicorn hunters want 3way sex. They think 3way sex is hot and they do not see its pitfalls. Maybe they've swung before and found 3way sex hot, and now want to add "feelings" to the mix.

So, they often jump into bed in short order. All 3 of them. Maybe the couple even thinks all the sex they have with their shared gf will be with just the 3 of them. Maybe, just maybe, eventually, they will allow one on one sex for their unicorn.

Then when they start threads here, they get piled on with negative comments from other poly here who, single or coupled, date and (usually) have sex one on one. Feelings get hurt.

Then they complain, mods get involved, threads get locked, infractions get handed out behind the scenes.

And the next day, another couple of unicorn hunters join the board and it all repeats. Or a unicorn posts, how her new couple won't do one on one sex, dates, even texts and she's hurt, and can't bond with her partners individually, she ends up feeling like a toy to spice up their relationship. And she is commiserated with, by former unicorns who had been in her shoes, by former unicorn hunters (like myself) who feel guilty for being stupid in the past and, basically, having used a woman as a sex toy in the past for their own benefit.
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me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37

Last edited by Magdlyn; 11-06-2013 at 04:29 PM.
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  #149  
Old 11-06-2013, 04:10 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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So the former post was my overview of the problem here. There are a couple regulars who always defend triads, and there is confusion about triads growing organically as opposed to being forced, as a prescribed "box" for a unicorn to fit in.

I hope we can discuss this, use this space for venting for those of us who are tired of the same old issues with forced triads and unicorn hunting that we see day after day.

Triads, an established couple looking for a single woman for a poly fidelitous 3way, we all share sex together thing, is NOT the only way to do poly. Why do so many people think that is THE way to do poly? It's odd, really.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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  #150  
Old 11-06-2013, 04:18 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Triads, an established couple looking for a single woman for a poly fidelitous 3way, we all share sex together thing, is NOT the only way to do poly. Why do so many people think that is THE way to do poly? It's odd, really.
Although I don't really have anything to add to the real topic at hand, this is why I don't use the word "Poly" any more to describe my relationship with P. Without fail, I get the, "Oh, so that means you all..." with the "nudge nudge wink wink" look, and have to spend more time explaining what it's NOT than what it IS.

Bleh.

<Curmudgeon mode>
This is why I despise the Showtime/sensationalist stuff - it only reinforces this hawt3waysex stereotype. I personally don't want more of this type of "awareness". It just makes things more difficult when all I want is a damned relationship with the guy.
</Curmudgeon mode>
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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adding a partner, attitude, expectations, love, one penis policy, opp, polyamory, polyfidelity, triad, truth, unicorn, unicorn definition, unicorn hunters, unicorn hunting, unicorns

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