Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 10-11-2013, 05:23 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,062
Default

Hey... is your relationship out to their friends and family.

Or are you the dirty little secret. What's going to happen for you during the holidays are you going to be included or shipped home until the coast is clear.

You think she is emotional now. Wait til that baby comes.

Honey you are young. Get out go to college. Make yourself stable and able to stand on your own two feet instead of hitching yourself toa train wreck.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 10-11-2013, 08:20 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern US...
Posts: 182
Default

What Dagferi said...

Seriously, this isn't going to go well, unless you can be out in the open, with full support from everyone, and nobody treats you as a dirty little secret. But it doesn't seem like the foundation is there, right now.

Frankly, I think you're 18 and have SO MUCH LEFT TO DO in life. The time to be in a poly relationship like you're describing is when you're bringing a rich, passionate set of experiences to the mix. Right now, and no insult is intended, you're bringing youth and that's great, that's wonderful, but it doesn't last. If you want to explore and have something last, go live your life and establish a foundation from which to build something wonderful.

Sadly, this doesn't sound wonderful.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 10-11-2013, 11:49 PM
Emm's Avatar
Emm Emm is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by magnet View Post
You cant give up on love.
Yes you can, and in many cases you should. Loving someone doesn't automatically make it healthy for you to be around them.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10-12-2013, 01:18 AM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346
Default

Gosh my daughter is going to be 16 in a few months and there is no way in Hell I'd let her shack it up with a married 25 year old and his pregnant wife. This is my mother's instinct speaking here.

Go to college, get an education, make yourself financially sufficient and yeah, boys your age may be immature but there's a reason for that. You learn how to evolve yourself in those relationships.

With being so young, are you sure it's "true love" and not some infatuation? I thought I would die when my boyfriend broke up with me my senior year (he was 5 years older than me) and within a few years, I realized it was "first love" "puppy love" and that there were many more opportunities of meeting the "one" but first, first I had to love myself before I could really fall in love with any one else. My next big love was my husband and that was 4 years later and after many flings with many boys.

I hope you decide to not go through with this. You have so much to experience and getting tied down with a couple and a baby is not where I would want to be if I could be 18 all over again.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 10-12-2013, 04:09 PM
Hey Hey is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 4
Default

I've realized you guys are right. I shouldn't give up everything for someone who wouldn't do the same for me. It's gonna be hard but if this is hhe best choice I guess I'll have to live with it.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 10-12-2013, 04:28 PM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 823
Default

(((hugs)))
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 10-12-2013, 04:31 PM
FullofLove1052's Avatar
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 875
Default

I hope it works out for, Hey. *hugs*
__________________
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Mr. Grey - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.
Closed.

My Blog
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 10-12-2013, 04:38 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,118
Default

Quote:
I've realized you guys are right. I shouldn't give up everything for someone who wouldn't do the same for me. It's gonna be hard but if this is hhe best choice I guess I'll have to live with it.
I am glad to hear you say that. I hope you follow through for your own sake. I'm sorry you now have to process break up feelings. But choices in life are not always win or lose but "this stinks and that stinks... which stinks LESS?"

You made a good decision. There are MANY right ones out there. They don't always come at the right time. This one was not either. (From the sound of it.) that's ok. You had an experience. That can be valuable as you make your way and have other experiences.

You are 18. You were scared to death you will always come second with them, and with this new baby -- that complicates things further. You were right.

Remember that you are young and a lot of your feelings will come at you really strong. You have no yardstick to measure it by if they are first feelings. It feels really INTENSE. Talk to other people -- to help keep your perspective. (You did that -- so good for you!)


It isn't til the early 20's
that the human brain finishes growing. Give yourself and your peers the chance to finish doing that -- and enjoy your dating experiences in the meanwhile without making lifelong/permanent choices.

If you want to polyship -- life is long. You don't have to have it all in your late teens up at the front end of your young adulthood.

It's ok to spread it out some -- you will be ok. Hang in there!

hugs,
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-12-2013 at 04:40 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
help advice new poly, young love triangle

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:46 AM.