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Old 03-07-2010, 05:38 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I think the overall point I was trying make is that even if you're committed to one thing, it doesn't mean you're exclusive to that thing. You can put it at the top of your priority list without it being the only thing on your list. So you can be married and make your marriage your top [relationship] priority while allowing other relationships to develop in their own right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Where does the term "BEST FRIEND " come into play? I agree that it dosent mean you cant have ANY other friends but there is the almighty "BEST FRIEND"
There are 3 people I consider "best friends," one of whom is my husband. But that's not even the point. Most people have a best friend and then other friends. And good friends never tell you who your other friends are allowed to be. And it's normal to drift away from one best friend as lives and interests diverge, and we go closer to a different friend

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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Again I agree but why do we pick a major? And once we have picked a major we gear our learning towards that field.Even after finishing school the direction we gravitate towards for further learning is influenced by a commitment to a direction of learning.
I'm really bad at picking majors! I'm on my 2nd bachelors and 3rd major :P Right now I'm settling on double honours Chemistry / Physics because I like them both. One of my best friends is in pharmacy, she absolutely hates school but she loves being a pharmacist. She does as little studying as she can get away with, but she loves learning and reading anything that isn't for school.

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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It only carries that association to exclusivity if that is what YOU believe it means to you. Every person is different and has a right to decide for themselves what the commitment of marriage meansto them.
Personally, I completely agree with you. I guess I should clarify that I meant how society perceives commitment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Where you live is it not allowed to write your own vows? I dont know all the laws in the different parts of the world, but if it is legal then why would you say " I DO" when you do not believe in that? If it is the law then back to my first post that I made on this thread. Why get married? I can understand if it was for financial or security purposes but if you ( by law) have to agree to something that you dont believe in why do that??
You're completely right of course, we could have written our own vows. We did write one set of them. But there were like 4 separate sections for "vow-like statements", and we didn't entirely understand how it was all going down. So we wrote our own "I promise to ____" vows, but not our own "I do" vows.
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commitment, legal issues, marriage, marriage vs. polyamory, primary, questions, responsibility

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