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Old 03-05-2010, 08:05 AM
budKEP budKEP is offline
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Location: hattiesburg , Ms
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Default lost sight of us in my greed for me

the title says it all. ive been feeling unsatisfied physicaly. restrictions in the relationship, boundaries and little time, have gotten me to consider an addition (please read more so you can really not like me please). i know if neither of these were in place im pretty positive i would be happy as a hendu cow. so i decide im open to another (and no i didnt talk to bubby about my line of thinking). =(

i wronged her in so many ways;
thinking i could ease my problems of unsatisfaction in the arms of another.
litterally, saying such right to her not realizing the hurt i was causing.
caring only about myself, i completely lost connection with her.
and i also understand the complete unfairness to any i would bring in my life for a need of another (i even tried to justify that ) =/

we are better now and on the mend, but what i want to ask of the public is,

how do you handle "down time alone"? where do you find the strength to keep your resolve?


and by all means slash me to pieces please, and a little advise too =/


i was asked to clarify ,,, i live 3 and1/2 hours from bubby (not a drive next door when you live in the country around 240miles distance)

and that we are completely addicted to each other. every chance there is we are in touch. a minimum of 2 hours and 20min. on phone a day. its a amazing relationship like no other i have ever been in. such an emotional connection.

Last edited by budKEP; 03-06-2010 at 02:50 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2010, 03:01 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Hello Bud,

Well, one of the things we try to learn is the difference between self preservation and greed. Because at times it's a fine, gray line.
You can't proceed through life miserable and expect to be full of happiness and love. And as you discovered (?) you can't swing that 180 in the other direction either and block out the rest of the world on your own quest.

Having this basic understanding between people is much talked about & desired but seems not completely understood/practiced. When things aren't measuring up we sometimes try to just swallow it and hope it get's better on it's own.
Seldom does.......

Every home should - by law - have a "We have a problem Houston" switch and blinking light that can be thrown by anyone at any time. If the light is on, we're required to sit down together in a non-confrontational way and just share what we see broken. Then put our heads together and figure out what options there might be to solve the dilemma.

If only it were that easy...............

GS
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Old 03-05-2010, 03:56 PM
budKEP budKEP is offline
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Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
Hello Bud,

Well, one of the things we try to learn is the difference between self preservation and greed. Because at times it's a fine, gray line.
You can't proceed through life miserable and expect to be full of happiness and love. And as you discovered (?) you can't swing that 180 in the other direction either and block out the rest of the world on your own quest.

Having this basic understanding between people is much talked about & desired but seems not completely understood/practiced. When things aren't measuring up we sometimes try to just swallow it and hope it get's better on it's own.
Seldom does.......

Every home should - by law - have a "We have a problem Houston" switch and blinking light that can be thrown by anyone at any time. If the light is on, we're required to sit down together in a non-confrontational way and just share what we see broken. Then put our heads together and figure out what options there might be to solve the dilemma.

If only it were that easy...............

GS
Hey grounded X),

Lol the "button" spoken of in your reply, very much does exist in our family. The support for one another here is simply amazing. Not a one of us does not stop our lives for the other.

Where I feel the burden here is "idle minds". I find that I very much do just want to sit around thinking of bubby, where as there is nothing I would change about the thinking side its the placement my energy created by where my thoughts go. Sitting not the best idea for a person with metabolism of a humming bird.
And the strength to focus it constructively and apply these methods is my curiosity. Am I the only one who when thinks of the other, can dodge bullets becouse of the increase in heart rate? X)

Ty grounded, X)
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Old 03-05-2010, 09:43 PM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by budKEP View Post
Where I feel the burden here is "idle minds". I find that I very much do just want to sit around thinking of bubby, where as there is nothing I would change about the thinking side its the placement my energy created by where my thoughts go. Sitting not the best idea for a person with metabolism of a humming bird. And the strength to focus it constructively and apply these methods is my curiosity. Am I the only one who when thinks of the other, can dodge bullets because of the increase in heart rate?
I can totally understand this feeling. There are days when I can go without thinking about Elric and all is well. Then I have days (or usually nights while trying to fall asleep) where he is my "pink elephant". Depending on my hormones (being pregnant), my mood during the day, and when the last time I talked to him was (and how it went) I might be happy and content with our current friendship relationship or I might break down in tears, either way my brain sometimes doesn't know when to stop beating this poor dead horse.

What to do about "idle minds"? My husband Cajun has an effective way for himself (which unfortunately does not work for me) when his brain goes into overdrive. He builds cars. Designs their engines, fuel injection, whatever parts he can come up with and believe me he can come up with amazing ideas. Now if you are not into cars, find something you do like, buildings, stories, music, anything that you can picture in your mind, break down and build up from square one. See if that helps, it's at least worth a shot.

Now if you want to use this "bubby" energy for something, do it. Walk, run, ride, create if you are of an artistic bent, write, whatever you can think of that will give you some sense of satisfaction or as I would say, a sense of accomplishment.

Although, in my mind, a person with the metabolism of a hummingbird would have a rather high metabolism and sitting around wouldn't be the problem unless you mean you have the energy and hyperness of that hummingbird as well. I only wish that were my problem.
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Old 03-06-2010, 02:43 AM
budKEP budKEP is offline
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ty vandalin =)

your advise and example were spot on and reasuring (oh and congrats on yur baby bubby).
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