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  #1841  
Old 08-27-2013, 11:44 AM
wildflowers wildflowers is offline
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RP, I'm not clear about whether you're just leaving your blog or stopping writing altogether. Either way, I will miss your presence. I understand that putting your feelings in public now feels dangerous and unappealing, but thank you for all that you have shared. Your openness with your feelings and your process has been illuminating and inspiring.

I wish you well in sorting out your feelings and resolving confusion, and in building connections that satisfy you and make you happy. And good luck to you too!
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  #1842  
Old 08-27-2013, 01:39 PM
Nox Nox is offline
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We'll miss you RP. Best wishes and safe journey. We'll keep the lights on for your return.
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  #1843  
Old 08-27-2013, 09:18 PM
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I'm not sure if it's good bye forever or not but it's good bye for now. Thanks for keeping a light on. *hugs*
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  #1844  
Old 08-28-2013, 06:52 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Wishing you luck and for some clarity soon.

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  #1845  
Old 08-28-2013, 09:51 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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I'll miss hearing from you as well. Enjoy your bike rides.
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  #1846  
Old 10-07-2013, 07:26 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Hello. Just thought I would say hi.

As you can see I am no longer a mod any more after about five years of daily attention to this forum. Strangely enough no one seemed to notice I was gone about a month ago. Or at least didn't make mention of it to me anyway. What a weird feeling to suddenly not do something every day and no one say a word... bizarre.

So here I am. Very happy and very content to be living each day flying by the seat of my pants more in love with Mono than ever and most importantly more in love with ME than ever. I could go on for ever just me, myself and I and be quite content these days. The interesting thing about that is that I hear very little from others if I don't reach out myself and am not bothered by that. I figure if people want to know me they will put that effort in.

In the mean time things come up and I am free to do them or not as I see fit. No more excessive google calender. It feel awesome to look at it sometimes and see that every night is free and know that exciting things come up in the moment.

We, our house, are settled nicely and are content to make plans and enjoy each other as we are. We have a bizarre family to those in the outside world but it doesn't rock our boat too much. We carry on and live honestly and with pride. We all benefit.

In the mean time I fantasize about having my own place one day. Even my own dishes and furniture. I actually look at house items in terms of what I like rather than what I think others would like. I have never done that before.

It remains that until Mono and I aren't done with each other until we are all done living the way we do, until there is no reason to all stay together, until there is some evidence that one or all of us doesn't benefit from our arrangement, until some unforeseeable future issue comes up or situation. We remain where we are and are content to be each others one and only. That change is making us blossom I think. We look different, feel different and have a trust that is building around monogamy for the first time. It feels right and therefore is right, for now. If that should change in the future I am pretty certain we will move on to others and never try poly again with each other. I can't say for sure, but then who can.

I have some major hesitations about poly now and some big arguments against it for many reasons. I can see the benefit in some situations and can see how others are on a path that is theirs and theirs alone and that I can only, and should only, observe. I observe and support where I can but remain an advocate for forethought, making hard choices and for seeing things to full circle.

Sometimes people's paths include poly but I in no way believe that poly has to be and is something to strive for as a forever alternative to honest monogamy (http://rhetcomppolydiss.wordpress.co...nest-monogamy/). Relationships are as fluid as everything in life to me. There is no need to continue trying poly if it isn't going to work as much as there is no reason to keep trying to be monogamous if it isn't going to work for the relationship one is in. There is also no need to think that there is one solution for every relationship. Some just don't work with a poly model and that is okay and should be respected. I am glad I figured this out and am now learning monogamy for the first time in most of my adult life.

I have a lot of rules to catch up on and fight against in my life now as I don't tell anyone new I meet that we ever were anything but RP and Mono. I feel like a fish out of water and believe that the only way to survive is to continue working on me. After all, I am all I really have.

Interesting times continue.
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-07-2013 at 09:04 PM.
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  #1847  
Old 10-07-2013, 07:42 PM
Confused Confused is offline
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It's really nice to read your update. I spent some time on this forum a couple of years ago then stopped reading when my life took a turn.
I only came back a month or so ago really because I remembered your story and wanted to see how things were turning out for you. I at least was disappointed you weren't posting much. You stuck in one strangers head anyway. Wishing you happiness.
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  #1848  
Old 10-07-2013, 08:06 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
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You are stuck in more than one stranger's head, Redpepper. I am happy to read this update and happy that you have found some peace.
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  #1849  
Old 10-08-2013, 12:46 AM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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RP - I may not have commented on here when you stepped back, but I've followed your journey both here and Facebook. I am glad to see that you and Mono have found peace.

I think for many of us, it is difficult to know what to say when a person who was an inspiration to us on our own poly journey suddenly decides that they want to live monogamously. I actually stumbled onto this forum in 2007 or 2008 when doing research into different types of relationship models and families. It wasn't until 2009 when my relationship with Wendigo formed, that I realized that I'd already found the term for what I was, what I have always been, even when I was living "monogamously" (by which I mean, the other relationships I was in were FWBs, and so I didn't see them as real relationships until much later). Your story and LR's story helped me more than I've ever really expressed in those early days when I was trying to navigate having more than one LTR and a family.

I hope that you do stop in from time to time because there is still much we can learn from you about truly being our own primaries. Good luck and enjoy seeing the world from your motorcycle.
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  #1850  
Old 10-08-2013, 02:48 AM
wildflowers wildflowers is offline
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RP, you told us you were leaving, so we were not surprised at your absence. I'm sure people did not want to get in the way of your decision to leave; you had enough to deal with already. But I, like the others, have missed your presence here, and am glad to hear that you are happy and content. It's kind of hard for me to fathom how your worldview shifted so radically, but I recognize that you're doing what feels right for you now, and there's no reason you should do anything else. I wish you the best wherever your path takes you (but hope you will at least wander through here at times.)
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