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  #31  
Old 10-02-2013, 10:12 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Well, umm... wouldn't they have found out when they got the results? It's all spelled out, so if they don't see a test for HSV on the print-out, then... you know, logically, there was no test for it.

I don't get it. How could people think they were tested for something that they weren't? Don't the docs go over the results with them? And doesn't everyone ask for a hard copy nowadays, to see all the test results in black & white? If they're not doing that, do they just expect their new potential lovers to take them at their word what their test results were?

I'm stymied here.
No. It's not spelled out.

You get a card in the mail saying "your test results are negative".
If there is a positive it says "one of your test results was positive please contact your provider".

And I was actually considered unreasonable for suggesting hard copies being shared.
No one felt that was appropriate or necessary or reasonable to request. In fact, just suggesting that they need to take a CURRENT test was proclaimed as me espousing "couple privilege" and being an "overly controlling" partner.

Interestingly-several friends in the swinging circles encountered the same. One was "new" to swinging and "went with the flow" and when she and her husband decided to be poly started discussing things with me and I suggested that I would need a hard copy test she was STUNNED. After several years as swingers, they had NEVER ONCE encountered ANYONE who even ASKED about testing. Much less actually insisted on proof.

This has created a large amount of conflict for Maca and I. Because he's very much a "norm follower" and all but one of the ladies he's considered in the poly world have found it OFFENSIVE that the suggestion was even made that STI testing needed to be done. Flat out offensive.
The only one who didn't, was in the medical field as a profession and already did her testing on a 3 month basis anyway. But she was practically gleeful that it was brought up-because everyone had thought SHE was ridiculous for wanting that.
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  #32  
Old 10-03-2013, 03:01 AM
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Heh, last year, I remember on my first date with Chessy, he pulled a hard copy of his test results out of his pocket to show me, before I even asked!
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solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #33  
Old 10-03-2013, 06:13 AM
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GO CHESSY!
Maybe he could come here and train people?
Just kidding-but I sure with they would learn!
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  #34  
Old 10-03-2013, 01:26 PM
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Annoying. I got an email from the dr, and all it said was

"All of your STD testing was NEGATIVE. HIV, hepatitis C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis were negative. However, you are not immune to hepatitis B so I would recommend getting the vaccine series at your convenience..." with explanations of how to get the shot.

No mention of the HSV tests, no mention of how to get a hard copy of my results. So, I wrote back asking about that.
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  #35  
Old 10-03-2013, 10:52 PM
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He wrote back. Negative for HSV 1&2.

So there you go.
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  #36  
Old 10-04-2013, 07:04 AM
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Yesterday, I went for my usual NHS STD test and depo. I asked about having a HSV 1 + 2 Test and she went on a bit of a rant saying there is absolutely no point in having one and they only test women who have a partner with HSV during pregnancy if she has an outbreak and hasn't had one before or previously tested negative. I explained about the poly thing and that my partner's partner(s) may want to know and she said there is absolutely no need for them to know at all. If I ever did have an outbreak, or a partner did, just avoid sex at that time. She went on to say that people who do not have HSV 1 and/or 2 are no the ones who are abnormal and if they can't understand why testing positive for herpes isn't very important, then they probably aren't the type of people I want to spend much time with because the people who still feel they need to know after having the science explained to them usually just want to discriminate against people who test positive. I was just like.. "okay".
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  #37  
Old 10-04-2013, 11:54 AM
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Wow, that was rather bitchy.
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  #38  
Old 10-04-2013, 01:02 PM
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Ugh, I hate it when medical professionals start lecturing instead of just giving someone what they ask for. If a patient wants a specific test done, can pay for it or has insurance, and it isn't some weirdly dangerous experimental thing, then fucking shut up and give them the damn test. Sheesh, these doctors forget they are working for us!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #39  
Old 10-04-2013, 02:15 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
Yesterday, I went for my usual NHS STD test and depo. I asked about having a HSV 1 + 2 Test and she went on a bit of a rant saying there is absolutely no point in having one and they only test women who have a partner with HSV during pregnancy if she has an outbreak and hasn't had one before or previously tested negative. I explained about the poly thing and that my partner's partner(s) may want to know and she said there is absolutely no need for them to know at all. If I ever did have an outbreak, or a partner did, just avoid sex at that time. She went on to say that people who do not have HSV 1 and/or 2 are no the ones who are abnormal and if they can't understand why testing positive for herpes isn't very important, then they probably aren't the type of people I want to spend much time with because the people who still feel they need to know after having the science explained to them usually just want to discriminate against people who test positive. I was just like.. "okay".
Doctors should listen to us. But your doctor's rant was accurate. HSV doesn't kill people. The only time it is dangerous is to an infant being born through a vaginal birth. It is basically an unpleasant skin condition. That said, I understand people don't want to get it if they don't have it currently. And I think people should disclose to possible partners. But the stigma is all outsized to the actual health issues.
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