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Old 10-01-2013, 01:23 PM
Vicarious Vicarious is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Posts: 42

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
In my vocab?

You and your wife and your GF are exploring being married and non-monogamous.

You think could be monoamorous (Desire or capacity to love one at a time) but are polysexual. ((desire or capacity to have more than one lover at a time -- not necessarily group sex, just more than 1 lover) and actually have a mutual friend as your lover at this time whose company you enjoy. I wonder if you are actually polyamorous, but struggling to LABEL the different kinds of love out there to be felt so you can talk about it with less awkwardness.

Wife could be polyamorous (Desire or capacity to love more than one at a time) and could be polysexual (desire or capacity to have more than one lover at a time -- not necessarily group sex, just more than 1 lover). She does not have another lover at this time.

GF could be (monoamorous and monosexual) or (polyamourous and polysexual) or some other mix and match. You don't write about her enough for me to guess. She is ok being in a non-monogamous relationship and is grateful her metamour (your wife) and her can have a friendly relationship since they share a hinge. (YOU) in this "V."

To me? You seem to share consummate love with your wife. You like her, are friends with her, share sex with her. But you have other commitments to her too -- marriage vows, children, a shared home and cohabitating as domestic partners and all that other "joint" stuff -- cars, checking accts, etc that a married couple might have.

You seem to share romantic love with your lover -- if there is liking/friendship and body/passion type intimacy there. You seem uncomfortable calling it "romantic love" because then what kind of love name do you have left to use for what you share with wife? You are used to calling THAT love the "romantic love."

Maybe reading Love Theory could help put more "love vocab" in your box that you could become more comfortable using? To help you describe what you feel and enable you to express yourself to the women in your life and be understood by them? While still honoring both women?

Wow! Thank you for those descriptions! In fact last night my wife and I discussed how various types of relationships with other people made us feel. It made me feel better that I could express myself that I had a lover that I shared friendship with, sex with, and not having to really label what it is. The important thing for both of us was communication, and both of us feeling that having another person in our life didn't negatively affect our life together.

I had a nice time over at my lover's house the other night, and had no issues with being into it...

The amount of talking we do about feelings, what we desire for life as a couple, and what our explorations do to compliment it, is what helps us along this journey.

Having a few more ways to describe it helps! Thanks again. I'll read up on the link you provided.
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