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Old 09-30-2013, 12:14 AM
nooneimportant nooneimportant is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Angry I call bulllshit. Need a friend. (long)

I still think why was I so stupid to get myself where I am now. I am married and have a fake friend we can call her. I was nice to let her and her kid live with us 8 years later I call bullshit. She has left came back and came back again I was upfront and told hubby I did not want her here I was give no choise in the matter at all. My life sucks ass the only thing good in my life are my kids I have 6 that range from 21 - 2 years. Hubby always saying I can leave but the kids stay. The fake friend really pissed me off so bad right after my mom died that I hate her. We had not even had the feurnnal yet and she is feeling left out or what ever and says to hubby I do not feel apart of the family ect. and how she was treated like a slave. then the bitch had the nerve to want a small urn with my mothers ashes in them wtf. I told my hubby I was done with I could not belive she acted like that. She has never been up front about anything. Her daughter gets a way with so much shit she is 10 she shaves her legs( mom says she is not to do that happens all the time) her mom did her eyebrows for her she likes boys has kissed at lest one boy. I can't stand the way she talks about other people she has 2 other girls she does not see I see that as her fault she did not show up for court. She had started saying she wanted more kids but she is fixed I told hubby I was not ok with that that was never aggreed upon. So she now comments on people that are pregant saying bad things about them it rubs me the wrong way she gave up her right to have kids not to mention she takes pain killer for her back she can not go a day without them. I know for a fact that she talks to all kinds of people on the internet. I am not sure if its me being so pissed off our the things that have happend or what but I have a feeling she is up to something. Her daughter gives me go to hell looks leaves the house in the morning and does what she want but I still have to disipline my kids and tell them I have no control over her and what she does. And it piss me off to no end that no one cares. My kids are older and younger than her and she lets her kid do whatever she want. I was gone for 2 days and she told me she was not chopped liver she could handle getting thyem up for school ha ha my oldest missed the bus I wake him up help put his banadana on and that is it and the others get up half a hour later . And I always fix breakfast for the hubby and little one which I had with me she could not bother to cook anything for breakfast I guess she need her sleep. I really can't stand her.
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Old 09-30-2013, 01:43 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 931

Consider using a font that is not so 'thick' and putting in some paragraph breaks.

Is this a poly situation? Is this your husband's girlfriend?

Have you talked to your husband about the problems? What is his take on this?
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Old 09-30-2013, 05:08 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Venting clearly-but.... what is your point?
Maybe if you just want to vent, this isn't the right spot for the post-better to put it in the blog section...
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 09-30-2013, 05:09 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,347

I am sorry you are hurting.

So in a nutshell... in the order it happened in as best as I can tell... and calling this woman (W) just to make it easier to type...
  • You have recently had your mom die and grieve for that. (I am so sorry for your loss of your mom!)
  • Your family used to live with (W). She moved out.
  • When she wanted to come back, you told hubby you did not want (W) here. He seems to be the "hinge" person in your polyship?
  • He ignored your feeling on it.
    • It sucks that hubby ignored your feeling on the matter.
    • It sucks that hubby says "you can leave, the kids can stay" to you. (This seems to underline how you don't seem to "matter" in this household, in this polyship, or in this marriage. )
  • (W) and her kids moved back in.
  • (W) being here is intolerable to you.
  • You don't like (W). Examples:
    • You don't like how she raises her kids.
    • How she behaves and does not follow through on promises.
    • How she wants to have a baby with DH when she doesn't care well for the ones she's got already.

I hope you feel better for the vent!

I don't expect you to actually answer. I just offer these things below for you to think about for the time when you are ready to do that work and make the next plan for yourself.

Right now you sound pretty emotional and I think taking a time out to cool off and do self-care could come FIRST at this time. Then any plan making type stuff could come after.

Hang in there. Again, I'm sorry you are hurting.



Most of your vent focuses your anger on the woman.

I note you don't have much to write on how your hubby's behavior co-created this situation. How do you feel about his behavior toward you? Toward (W)? Toward the children in this house?

What is your desired outcome? What would make life wonderful for you? You could think it over in several "levels" --
  • What outcome would be ok/tolerable to you?
  • What would be even BETTER to you?
  • What would be BEST EVER to you?

Then you could break it down into detailed steps to solve/achieve....
  • Being free of this woman's behavior? Or this woman and her kids entirely?
  • Being free of this husband behavior? Or the husband entirely?
  • Being with your kids? Here at this home, or any home?
  • Something else?
  • A mix and match of the above?

Then could examine which are executable first, second, third, etc. Which you can pull off now and which are not doable at this time but maybe later down. Could put them in order. Then start knocking it off your list.

How do you see yourself achieving your desired outcome? What resources do you have to make it so?

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-30-2013 at 05:35 PM.
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