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Old 09-29-2013, 10:55 PM
Eponine Eponine is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 125

Originally Posted by Marcus
If I introduce IV to my friends as "my girlfriend, IV" unfortunately it provides them with a set of assumptions which are not all true. It's the same when someone asks me "do you have a girlfriend?"... they are not asking me if I have a partner in the way that *I* relate (which is an uncommon approach to put it mildly), they are asking me if I have a partner in the way that people *commonly* have partners. So while my answer to this question is "yes"... it's also kind of "no, not in the way you mean it"
Yeah, that's part of the reason A, L and I don't use boyfriend/girlfriend to refer to one another. We're just too different from people's common perception of boyfriend/girlfriend. Plus, because our relationships are non-sexual and in the grey area between platonic and romantic, even putting the assumption of exclusivity and (eventual) domestic partnership aside, we still don't think boyfriend/girlfriend is a fitting title for us.

However, I refer to G as my husband, because we're indeed legally married. If it makes sense to tell people we're poly, we'll tell them.

Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
The only kind of "shallow" friendships to me are those based upon not being friendly simply for the sake of being friendly or wanting a friend, but those based upon "shallow" factors such as looks, status, and prestige.~
For me, a typical kind of shallow friendships is friendships primarily based on proximity and/or convenience. My "friendships" with some people at school are in this category. We get along okay; we help each other with schoolwork; we work together in our research; we meet up for dinner once in a while. But when we're together, we mostly have small talk about school, food, latest TV shows, etc. We don't have shared life philosophy. We don't have a deep intellectual or emotional connection. I don't think of them if we haven't met up for a while. When we're not in the same school anymore in the future, I don't expect us to keep in touch regularly or at all. I consider them (good) acquaintances or casual friends at most. But YMMV.
Heteroromantic asexual female, sex-positive, childfree, relationship anarchist.
Married to G, and in a partially non-romantic, completely non-sexual and long-distance triad with A and L.

Last edited by Eponine; 09-29-2013 at 11:05 PM.
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