Originally Posted by sleepygirl
I don't know if this is truly the correct place for this post, please feel free to move it, if necessary.
My life calling is to be a midwife, eventually, once my children are older. For now, in preparation, I'm working on becoming a doula. In light of my recent reading and research, I've been (pleasantly) surprised at how many polys have children or are planning children. It has led me to wonder just how important it might be to have a doula/midwife who specializes in poly families, someone who understands, accepts, even welcomes the dynamics and interplay of poly relationships within a family group.
So...thoughts, folks? Good idea? Bad idea? Total non-issue?
We've had three kids and have had one each way -- one at home, one at a free-standing birth center and one in the hospital. We've worked with midwives each time -- our hospital birth wasn't a planned hospital birth; we'd hoped to have him at home -- and have actually helped them expand their practices to be more friendly to alternative sexualities by re-writing intake forms and helping them talk in more comfortable ways to different kinds of families. By and large, though the midwives we've met that do out of hospital births have been very comfortable with alternative sexualities, and were great about having our BF and GF present as doulas at our second child's birth (our home birth). The relationship was long distance, but they knew that they were important as our partners and god-parents to the baby, and included them very patiently and sweetly in our birth and our aftercare.
I could also see it as being a challenging practice area, as far as keeping the energy and focus really on the mama and the baby and not getting pulled off in other directions within the family. My boyfriend actually got pouty during my birth because I wasn't 'needing' him enough, and that issue needing to be 'dealt with' really split my care provider's attention and focus from where my baby and I needed it to be -- i.e. on me, the birth, and the baby. Also, for a lot of women, birthing is actually a really private experience between them and their babies and their bodies. Much as I loved my husband and everyone else, ultimately I wanted them all to shut up, sod off, and preferably leave the room because birthing that baby took up every bit of my energy and focus.