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Old 09-26-2013, 03:47 PM
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Camping / Highland Games went well... The games themselves? Amazing. Nothing like seeing large, muscular men in kilts tossing cabers and steel weights. Rowr.

M1 gravitated more toward the music and bands, so we watched some great performers as well: if you like drums and pipes, I heartily recommend Albannach. Alastair Fraiser and his cellist (can't remember her name) were great too, if you like strings. All in all, a great day. P picked up a new kilt. I picked myself up a celtic-looking knotwork silver band for my index finger (I love metalwork in my jewelry - not so big on stones), and tried haggis!

And loved it. I'm a sick little monkey.

I still get awkward when we all hang out together... I feel uncomfortable when P gives public attention to the both of us (the "all eyes are on me" feeling), so I do tend to separate myself a bit, physically. It's a reaction of mine, I've identified it, but I definitely ran it by P again to make sure he understood I wasn't trying to be standoffish and I wasn't pissed off. He gets it, and I suppose with more outings, I'll work on that and hopefully approach "I don't give a shit" territory as time goes on.

Camping was interesting. The first night was effing freezing, and M1 and I assumed that since P is an oven, we would be okay with only a couple blankets.

Oh, were WE wrong. My poor ass was hanging out of the blankets when I tried to snuggle up with P, and the air mattress taco made my shoulder hurt. When I'd roll over in an effort to feel my fingertips again, I'd get cold. Slept like ass.

Apparently, M1 also slept like ass (allergies) and mentioned that she felt isolated from P all night, which, oddly enough, so did I... I'm guessing that when we *were* awake, he was facing the other person. I know I did have to wake him up at one point because I was freeeeeeeeezing, so he could come over and warm me up. Poor P felt badly, but honestly, what the hell could he do?

Anyway - solution was to put ALL the blankets on the mattress. I figured I'd sleep much better and not give a shit who was facing where.

Except it rained and was in the 60s the next night.
Oh, and did I mention the leaky tent?

Oy.

Well, despite roasting under all the blankets (and poor P in the middle, unable to hang a leg out!), and the occasional *spat* *spat* of a drip hitting you in the face, or arm, or foot, or whatever, M1 and I slept like rocks. P, not so much.

Good time, but I was still pretty damned happy to be home.

So, sanity check - yeah, I don't like the "all eyes are on me" feeling. It felt extra-strange since for some reason, a metric shit-ton of my coworkers were also at the Games. It was manageable, though, so no big deal there.

The sharing a bed thing was okay. I find cuddling a very intimate thing, tied emotionally with a partner, my kids, or, maaaaybe a very close friend. I don't feel that intimacy with M1, and thus, when I get a brush of her hand, or end up flopping my hand on her arm or something while I'm snuggling with P, it's pretty jarring. I end up sticking to "my side" of P.

I suppose that's fine. We find what works, and I was okay with that. I know that I'm not up for "puppy piles" or "cuddle puddles" and I guess this just reaffirms that. It's funny, because I'm a "hugger", and I'll reach out and touch people's arms when I'm talking (if they're also "touchers" - I don't like to wig people out if they're not), but cuddling... nope. Crosses some internal line somewhere. <shrug>

Anyhoo... everyone had a good time, and I started looking up haggis recipes.

In other news, NO news from my sister after she was discharged from the hospital. Maybe one FB post (a shared article), but she's staying quiet. I dunno...

Got a call from radiology that they want me to come back and get followup images done of my right breast (the same one that was biopsied, marked, and determined to have a benign tumor in it a few years ago). Sigh. Hoping it's nothing. With mom's issues (still going through chemo, and doing better with a different dose), the desire for a followup scan is a bit stressful. I go in tomorrow for that. Fingers crossed...
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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divorce, family, metamour, mono/poiy, vee

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