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  #91  
Old 09-25-2013, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by pulliman View Post
I'm with a previous comment - I think "lover" is too much information for most people I'm talking about. Were I to say it, it'd be very much in the context of "we're lovers," as a statement of the kind of relationship we have.

I find that most people don't care. As a result, saying boyfriend and girlfriend works, when lightly talking about it. But really, these folks are my partners. Depending on how much I want to explain, I say that. But sometimes, to keep things on the low side, I just say "good friend."

They know who they are. We've just been having a debate about the word lovers in our group, anyway - are people who are lovers also nameable as lovers? or are they just, you know, making love every now and then, but not really lovers? The nuances mattered to us for a while. Now they don't. Their relationship is a lot more secure and couple-like than it was a few months ago.

In the end, I suppose it's personal.... right?
I wouldn't personally define having sexual intercourse as "making love" if there is not actually any "love" involved at all.~

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-25-2013 at 09:55 PM.
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  #92  
Old 09-25-2013, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
but not using the word "lovers", either, as it usually evokes sexual connotations that simply aren't applicable in our case.
That's actually a personal interpretation of the word since the word "lover" could involve sexual activities or none at all as "lover" could simply be defined as "one who loves" among its' other definitions.~
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  #93  
Old 09-25-2013, 09:56 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
part
time
parttime...
The correct and proper spelling is part-time. It is hyphenated because "part" is the adjective that describes the noun "time." All your other examples were two nouns put together.
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  #94  
Old 09-25-2013, 09:56 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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I cringe when I hear people say "lover." I cannot put my finger on why it annoys me, though. I prefer not to use "partner" either. I think of partners in a business, so there is a disconnect and something quite impersonal for me.
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  #95  
Old 09-25-2013, 09:59 PM
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Thank you all for sharing your opinions, it's interesting to hear all of your views on the subject and how you all choose to use words within your lives and relationships, I have learned much.~

Thank you.~ ^_^

Please all feel free to share your opinion or to continue sharing your opinions here.~
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  #96  
Old 09-26-2013, 12:00 AM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
I wouldn't personally define having sexual intercourse as "making love" if there is not actually any "love" involved at all.~
Oh, there's plenty of love. That's not the issue. It's that being lovers implies something both get nervous about - it's the first same-sex relationship for both, and they are in love, but still struggling with identity. Avoiding names can be a good way of giving space and time to arrive at a feeling of safety and comfort.
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  #97  
Old 09-26-2013, 12:22 AM
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Sorry Nyc.
I was sitting in class pondering it and trying to think of ones off of the top of my head. Right about the time it occurred to me-my mind went blank except for "boyfriend" and "girlfriend".
Then I was like "SERIOUSLY! I can't think of anything but those two?"
LOL!
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  #98  
Old 09-26-2013, 12:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pulliman View Post
Oh, there's plenty of love. That's not the issue. It's that being lovers implies something both get nervous about - it's the first same-sex relationship for both, and they are in love, but still struggling with identity. Avoiding names can be a good way of giving space and time to arrive at a feeling of safety and comfort.
Ah, ok.~ I missed your point, got it now.~

"Lover" only implies what you think it implies for you, no doubt every one will have a different opinion on what certain words "imply".~

I for one think that the word "lover" is a beautiful way to refer to some one whom you are in a loving relationship with.~

There is always some one out there who will perceive a word, some one else perceives as beautiful, as an "insult" such as the word "gay" or "woman" (yes I have spoke with some people and to them even if they are a "woman" to call them a "woman" they would consider that an insult).~

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-26-2013 at 01:14 AM.
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  #99  
Old 09-26-2013, 12:57 AM
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ColorsWolf, slow down and read Pulliman's last post again. You completely missed the point.
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  #100  
Old 09-26-2013, 05:14 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
but not using the word "lovers", either, as it usually evokes sexual connotations that simply aren't applicable in our case.
Yep, I don't use "lover" for the same reason. Although I do have sex with my husband, sex isn't an important part of any relationship for me. And I interpret a "lover" relationship as primarily sexual but not so deep emotionally (YMMV, of course), so I don't like it.

I call G my husband or partner (I usually see "partner" as "life partner" only, which is different from most poly people's usage of the term), and I call A and L my affectionate friends, special friends, or SOs. When I refer to all of them together, I say "my SOs". I really like the flexibility of "SO" because it covers all kinds of significant relationships.
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Last edited by Eponine; 09-26-2013 at 05:25 AM.
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