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  #21  
Old 09-15-2013, 04:21 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Default quick ending to cliffhanger

the short story to last post's cliffhanger:

It took another month for us to actually "hook-up" and in the first week of seeing each other, he went on a road trip and the second week I went to follow The Dead. We married a year in a half later after living together for over one year. I'll get back to DH & I but really really want to share some changes to now.
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  #22  
Old 09-25-2013, 12:39 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Default lately

Been so busy! Started a new job last Monday. I LOVE IT!!!

So PR and I are officially (it's still unclear exactly how much) dating/seeing each other. He's gotten a little over his issue of finding the "one" and only for now. I sent him a link to morethantwo.com. He and DH discussed everything. That DH is completely fine with PR having feelings for me and I him.

Although, PR did too much thinking last time we saw each other so he wasn't quite up to his normal bedroom performance.

PR and I are trying to see each this Thursday. Schedules are hard for us to do in the evenings after I am off work. PR is a nurse and works 2-11 and on his days off he has his kids. The only way we'll see each other is after 11 (ouch I work at 7:30). Hopefully as his schedule rotates every 6 or 8 weeks we'll have some weekend nights to see each other.

And the location: he can't at his place, we can here but that is with DH being home and that usually is a tag team situation. I'd really like to have some real alone time with PR. We have been discussing a hotel...but cash flow wise, not really practical until I get my first check to go halves on it.

I'll get back to some history sometime soon but for now...busy, busy, busy.
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  #23  
Old 09-25-2013, 01:33 AM
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Glad you are enjoying the job.

Also glad, PR has finally come around. I hope it works out for you all.
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  #24  
Old 09-25-2013, 01:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
the location: he can't at his place, we can here but that is with DH being home and that usually is a tag team situation. I'd really like to have some real alone time with PR. We have been discussing a hotel...but cash flow wise, not really practical until I get my first check to go halves on it.
Your dh is totally against giving you and PR time alone at your place? Have you talked about that as an option?
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  #25  
Old 09-25-2013, 02:06 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Your dh is totally against giving you and PR time alone at your place? Have you talked about that as an option?
Actually DH is fine with PR coming over and the two of us having alone time in the bedroom but we have 3 kiddos so if the youngest (she's 2-1/2) wakes an adult needs to be here for that. It's more PR having some mental issues of being alone in the bedroom, it's always been the three of us in there.

I'm thinking this Thursday we'll meet here and just roll with it. DH already suggested we meet here and he'd keep himself busy playing the xbox.
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  #26  
Old 09-28-2013, 04:16 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Cool He cancelled

I got a text yesterday saying "shit" from PR. I ask back "what's up". He "puking for last two hours"...backstory he met someone a few days ago (I am 100% okay with it, no jealousy, no insecurity) but I had this nagging feeling PR wasn't being honest yesterday when he cancelled on me.

I was telling DH about it and he advised yesterday to just be patient. Then PR texts me today he has a date, etc. More backstory...when I've been trying to get a "date" on PR's days off he keeps giving me an excuse of having his kids. So today is his day off and he's out on a date.

My intuition is telling me to just let it go. Yes I care for him and do not want to end our friendship. I just don't want to be his "rebound" for ever. I want a relationship not a sex-ship. And he's put me in a position that I will be going into for std tests in the next month because he had sex with his last girlfriend without protection (we are fluid bonded) and he never told me...I discovered in his story of OM trying to get herself pregnant by him. (When PR and I decided to try a relationship I explained my boundaries of safe sex and telling me when he doesn't use protection). I really care for him but I have no energy to wait around and be told one week he wants to be mono and then the next week whining to me about why he's down.

DH now understands what I was talking about yesterday. I don't believe he was ill. I think because of how long we go in bed and worn out I make him, he cancelled so he would have energy for this new person and their date tonight.

So I'm setting my parameters of meeting someone for them to at least be within my area and not 30 minutes away, to not live in the basement of their parents house, to have a vehicle (not PR but another guy I had a connection with) and that he has a place we can meet at (whether he's single or lives with roommates - weeds out the cheaters whose wife doesn't know her husband is screwing around on her). At least with this sort of preference I won't be wasting my time. I've been with PR since early July and even though the sex is hot...emotionally I'm not fulfilled by it.

Gosh it feels good to make this decision.
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  #27  
Old 09-28-2013, 11:45 AM
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I love your list of parameters, especially since my boyfriend is the exact opposite on all of it. Wish that wasn't the case myself, but now I'm in love with him and I'm stuck on all points. Gah! It's a good idea to set all those out ahead of time, for sure!
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  #28  
Old 09-28-2013, 01:03 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alibabe_muse View Post
I think because of how long we go in bed and worn out I make him, he cancelled so he would have energy for this new person and their date tonight.
Bummer!

Quote:

So I'm setting my parameters of meeting someone... he has a place we can meet at (whether he's single or lives with roommates - weeds out the cheaters whose wife doesn't know her husband is screwing around on her).
Or, like in my case, I've got a long term gf and she's never had a problem with me having an OSO over to have sex with/hang out with, while she is in the house! She has no problem either socializing with my date and then waving bye bye as we go off to fuck, or just disappearing so he and I can be completely alone. And more recently I had the opportunity to return the favor when she had a guy over here as well.

I know some couples won't let one of them have a date over unless both members of the couple get to have a 3way with the date, but that's not how we do it.

Quote:
Gosh it feels good to make this decision.
Best wishes as you move forward!
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #29  
Old 10-10-2013, 06:13 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Smile

Apparently the living 30there minute away parameter might be too much to ask for. Ah I love the beauty of North Idaho yet society here is still a bit of ten years ago. Funny I kinda felt trying to meet anyone possibly interested in meeting as a long term possibility and then viola...a poly guy contacts me on Okc. We had already emailed each other last month about forming a subgroup for the meetup group since 90%you of members are not here. Well after a few emails I haven't heard back from him. In one of his emails it sounded like he & his wife had been looking for their unicorn. Guess since that is not going to be me...contact ceased.

But my funny is once I decided in my mind to stop looking I get contacted. Not one but two. This is why the no 30 minute away parameter isn't going to work. I've continued online conversation with one of them. Definitely there's mutual attraction. He's accepting of polyamory and that I'm happily married yet looking for another. He passed my other parameter tests & we have our first date Saturday.

I did end it with PR officially last week. We agreed to stay friends but I doubt DH & I will hear from him again. That's ok. My feelings for PR led DH & I to polyamory. Who knows how long it would've taken us to figure it out, maybe months or even years.

Speaking of DH, he is so supportive of me & my new connection, enjoying my new bliss that benefits him too. And he starts a new job tomorrow & this means no more opposite schedules. This is good for him, the kids & I, having a bit of a "normal" work schedule.

Night time calls...me to bed.
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  #30  
Old 10-10-2013, 07:22 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Red face his Numandsv

omg posting from my cell sucks. so many words put in there that I never even saw. yikes!
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