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  #721  
Old 09-20-2013, 06:23 PM
willowstar willowstar is offline
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I think as far as therapeutic value goes, that would be pretty subjective. There are all kinds of things that have therapeutic value to an individual, running, meditation, yoga, crafting, etc. For someone who participates in BDSM, there are certainly psychological reasons for doing so, but they may or may not be therapeutic.

My understanding of the dynamic of cutting or scratching (and this IS something I did as a teen), is that it can provide an emotional release through a physical medium. When you cant get the emotion out, or cant access the mental or emotional pain for some reason, a physical sensation like pain can bring relief. I also believe this is one of the reasons why people get body modifications (not always, but true for some), like tattoos. The pain provides a release. I am not familiar with knife play, so I wont address that or how it might or might not help in a situation like that, but thought I would share my own experience of what that was like for me. I have a partner whose child does this also, and we have had several conversations about it.

While I do participate in BDSM with both of my partners, and am a mostly subby switch, I dont do it for therapy, like LR said. I do it for myself, because its enjoyable, and hot and sexy, and I get to submit and do the things my partner asks me to do. I get off on it, being told what to do, for him. Letting him do what he wants to do to me. I am a bit of a pillow princess, so that works for me...

Any personal growth that results is purely a side effect...

Willow
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Bear-Maybe poly/maybe mono straight man, still feeling it out
Armadillo (formerly known as BF) - currently out of the picture. Depression is evil...
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  #722  
Old 09-20-2013, 10:00 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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What does pillow princess mean?
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  #723  
Old 09-20-2013, 11:13 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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There are some apple and orange comparisons going on.

Treating phobias through BDSM could very much work. That would be exposure therapy. Trusting someone enough to exposure you to a fear in a safe environment, often gradually. Things like restraint, cages, blood, being dominated etc
Says she who has issues with being restrained, and has worked up to being restrained with emergency release that I can't use and cuffs tight enough that I can't pop out of them. That has taken a while Still won't let them do it at the obg/gyn office though! No straps on my ankles, thank-you.

Cutting and other forms of self-harm are more likely the result of a mood disorder, the endorphins released by cutting create an "artificial" chemical high. By artificial I mean deliberately created. Like the runners high.


The treatment for this would not be exposure therapy. but probably physciatric and would require blood tests too, to ascertain if there is a chemical imbalance.

My 2 cents...
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Last edited by Atlantis; 09-20-2013 at 11:20 PM. Reason: I am crappy typist.
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  #724  
Old 09-21-2013, 01:19 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
What does pillow princess mean?
I believe it means someone who just lays back on her pillow and tells her lover what to do. Kind of like, "Okay, do me!" Also I don't think a pillow princess makes much effort to give back. It's all about the princess!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 09-21-2013 at 01:26 AM.
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  #725  
Old 09-21-2013, 01:28 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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I've never had straps on my ankles at the dr's office!
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  #726  
Old 09-21-2013, 01:30 AM
willowstar willowstar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
What does pillow princess mean?
I actually saw that term recently, I had never heard it before either. More or less meaning preferring to lay back and be pleasured by your partner.
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Willow ~ 44yo bi woman, married to Bear (formerly known as TB) for 18 years
Bear-Maybe poly/maybe mono straight man, still feeling it out
Armadillo (formerly known as BF) - currently out of the picture. Depression is evil...
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  #727  
Old 09-21-2013, 02:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlantis View Post
Still won't let them do it at the obg/gyn office though! No straps on my ankles, thank-you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I've never had straps on my ankles at the dr's office!
Me either! Just put your feet on the metal stirrups. I don't even think I've ever even seen straps on them!

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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #728  
Old 09-21-2013, 02:29 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't even think I've ever even seen straps on them!
I think straps on the stirrups would be enough reason to pick another doctor... with a quickness.
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  #729  
Old 09-21-2013, 04:39 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I've had them twice here and was very common in the home country. eek.
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  #730  
Old 09-21-2013, 11:36 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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What, they think you're gonna hop off and run away, gown flapping in the breeze?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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