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  #21  
Old 09-18-2013, 11:50 AM
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Does anyone use diaphragms?
I used one for 20 years (age 22-42) on and off. I was married and mono. Took time off using it to get and be pregnant 3 times. I know they are very out of fashion now. It worked well for me and my (ex) husband in that time. We did not have super frequent sex though. Once or twice a week at most.

At age 42 I started on the Pill because our sex life heated up when peri-menopause kicked in for me,. increasing my libido. (I was on the Pill from age 16-22 also.) My ex was never comfortable with condoms and refused to get a vasectomy (grrr...). We wanted to have sex at least once a day and I didn't feel like wearing a diaphragm half the day!

Well, I did not know that I had a blood mutation called Factor V Leiden, which make me 7 times more likely to get blood clots than the average person. No doc ever mentioned to me that some people have this and other blood clotting mutations and should never take synthetic estrogen. (I recommend anyone considering going on hormone based BC get tested for blood clotting mutations. No doctor does it as a matter of course.)

Since being on the Pill also makes any woman 7 times more likely to clot than those not on it (or Depo and any other estrogen based BC), I was a ticking time bomb, 49 times more likely to clot than the average person!

And I did come down with blood clots in one leg and both lungs, needing hospitalization and months on anti-coagulants. The anti-coag (warfarin) made my periods super heavy and I became severely anemic.

I found out this blood mutation was genetic and made sure both my adolescent daughters were tested. One has it, one doesn't. The one that has it should never be on any synthetic estrogen. The progestin only pill is right for her, or condoms. Or a diaphragm, if she is mono and fluid bonded.

So, after the blood clots, I went back on the diaphragm until menopause kicked in, which was very welcome indeed! Of course since then, my h and I broke up and I started dating men who were fine using condoms. By then I was no longer fertile but needed to protect against disease. But by August of 2012 I became fluid bonded with my bf (I already was with my gf) and haven't had intercourse with anyone else for longer than that.

I know some women lose libido in peri-menopause and after. Lucky for me I've had the opposite experience and can just enjoy barrier and hormone free sex!
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  #22  
Old 09-18-2013, 12:05 PM
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No one I know has ever used a diaphragm. Are they really difficult to put in and stay in? I am interested in this as an option, for sure. Are they messy?
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  #23  
Old 09-18-2013, 12:28 PM
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I've had a vasectomy. There's no fuss with it and it's not painful at all. Doesn't even affect your sex drive whatsoever - hell, I've had more sex with my wife since than I did before!

I know lots of guys won't consider it even if they don't want more kids. Something to do with thinking they're less of a man, libido going south, etc. Nonsense, I say!

I think it's sensible and even responsible. That's just me.
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  #24  
Old 09-18-2013, 12:46 PM
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No one I know has ever used a diaphragm. Are they really difficult to put in and stay in? I am interested in this as an option, for sure. Are they messy?
I used one in college (the pill wreaked havoc with my gallstones, and University health care refused to do anything about the gallstones and instead switched my BC ). They have to be the proper size (your gyn will fit you), and they're really not difficult to insert and remove. They can be wash-your-hands and get-the-extra-spermicide-off-down-there messy, but they're not messy when they're in. I just found it more inconvenient than the pill.
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  #25  
Old 09-18-2013, 06:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
No one I know has ever used a diaphragm. Are they really difficult to put in and stay in? I am interested in this as an option, for sure. Are they messy?
No, they arent that difficult to put in. I used to do it in bed during foreplay. You just take it out of the case, eyeball it against the lamp to check for holes, squirt in some spermacide, rub some of it around the edge, fold it in half and shove it up there, checking w fingers to make sure it's in place. It came with a weird sort of lever thing to put in up in against the cervix, I guess for people who don't want to put their actual fingers in their vag, but I never used it.

You'll insert it in the dr's office when you first get it. She'll leave the room, you put it in, she comes back in and checks to see if you got it in the right spot, fully covering the cervix.

There's no mess, per se. A little spermacide on your fingers is easily wiped away on a tissue or towel you have there for typical sex fluids.

A diaphragm also comes in handy to keep blood mess down when having sex during your period.

Sometimes I could feel the pressure of the diaphragm inside me and would feel relief when 8 hours had gone by and I could take it out. But as I said, if I wanted to have morning and evening sex on a daily basis, I'd be wearing the darn thing for 3/4 of the day every day!

I've read some women put it in every night before bedtime, while doing the bedtime toothbrushing/makeup removal routine, just in case they were gonna get laid. I never did that.
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  #26  
Old 09-18-2013, 09:06 PM
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What Mags said. Very easy to use a diaphragm. You don't actually have to fill it up with spermicidal jelly (as Tonberry put it), just cover the inside surface and outer rim with it (I didn't want you to have the impression that you're putting a big full thing sploshing over with jelly up there). It can be messy, but not too much. The important thing is that it fits properly and doesn't tear or get holes (obviously). The problem with spermicide is that it can be irritating to some people.

My main BC for years were IUDs - I've had several copper sevens, one Progestisert, and one copper T. I prefer the ones with copper. My periods were always sort of heavy and longish, with over a month in between, but they did not get worse on them. Eventually my cycle got wonky when I hit perimenopase, sometimes heavy sometimes not, and never knew when it was coming. But I still recommend IUDs and would get another if I still needed BC, but I'm in menopause and no longer fertile.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-18-2013 at 09:14 PM.
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  #27  
Old 09-20-2013, 08:30 PM
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Well, apparently I have a small cervix. Sexy, no? I got the diaphragm prescription, but the pharmacy had to order it, so I can pick up on Monday.

I was told I could do an IUD if I wanted, but that it could be difficult and hurty to insert since I hadn't had a pregnancy. I decided against it, since I can always get one if the diaphragm ends up not being all that great.

Bad news is that my insurance won't cover it, but we have cash in our flex account so it's all good.

Thanks for all the info! I really appreciate it.
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  #28  
Old 09-20-2013, 10:40 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I'm glad you made a choice you're happy with!

I find the main problem with IUD is that so few doctors are trained putting them on. The one I got is specifically meant for women who have never had children so it's smaller, but I had to research it myself and be the one to tell my gynecologist what to order, because she had no clue that even existed. Not too reassuring... fortunately she still inserted it fine :P

I hope the diaphragm works for you, let us know once you get it!
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  #29  
Old 09-21-2013, 02:09 PM
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I used to use a diaphragm (I tried pills for several years, but not only didn't like the mood side effects, but I'm terrible at remembering to take at the same time each day thing) and the biggest issue I noticed was greater frequency of UTIs. Now, I'm very very susceptible to UTIs to start with (I've been hospitalized a couple times for kidney infections, apparently things are real sensitive in my urinary tract), and I can't say at this point why exactly a diaphragm would affect my urinary tract, but it might be something to just keep an eye on, and take preventive measures like extra cranberry juice (the 100% juice, not cranberry cocktail with sugar in it) or cranberry pills just in case.

We went back to using condoms after it got to be way too frequent for me, then after 4 c-sections the doctor recommended I not get pregnant any more (too much scar tissue, chance of rupture) and did a tubal ligation during the last c-section.
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  #30  
Old 09-21-2013, 05:13 PM
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I have never had a UTI and I hope I never do! The gyno didn't mention that as a side effect.
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