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Old 02-24-2010, 08:21 PM
BrandyManhattan BrandyManhattan is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 4
Default Room swap?

The wife of the couple I am involved with has voiced her want to move into the room I have been living, and having me move into the master bedroom with the husband. Now I would love to jump at this opportunity, IF I could believe there was a positive reason for the change. But in summary the over all reason I am hearing from her is because she feels she can't focus on herself when the very sight of the husbands dirty laundry on the floor has the ability to ruin her day. Also the sex life between them has been null and void for, well my best guess is going on 6 or more months now. I have had a hard enough time over coming mixed feelings about that, and this request she is making now just does not sit well with me. I have said it before that if roles had been reversed and I had been married to him, I do not know if I would ever be okay adding a second wife. Just because I am okay with being a second wife does not mean I have to be okay with the thought of taking on a second wife if I were ever a first wife. Correct? So, she wants to swap rooms and has made the statement that it will allow her to work on herself. But, HELLO...there is a relationship to maintain! You can't sit on the sidelines and then expect to be put in the game. To me if she is not willing to make the efforts to face and deal with the issues she has then she needs to really figure out if she even wants to be in this marriage any more. If she can't handle the day to day house hold chores and work that comes with supporting a household and relationship than I would rather her not waste any more time and start thinking about moving on past this relationship. It is not only me I take into consideration it is the husband and my children. To me her actions and words have said that he in himself is not worth it to her to make efforts to be a wife. Now don't get me wrong I do not think women are to be "expected" to cook and clean, but in a family there needs to be efforts to sustain and healthy environment and to me that only comes through having pride in your husband and home. Anything she does she either has resent or guilt about. I would like any advice on this situation. Like I said I am more than happy to live in the master bedroom with the husband, but I fear seeing her true intent come through and then having resent for her, I do not like having an unrestful heart or mind and do not want to waste my efforts trying to control my anger over something that I have already seen happen and fear will only continue to happen, her only willing to change external factors, thinking it will "fix" her internally.
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cohabitation, vee dynamics

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