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  #11  
Old 09-11-2013, 02:03 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Welcome! I hope you find comfort here. There are a lot of really emotionally mature individuals here- so I hope you are able to find what you are looking for.

I read all of your posts and this is what I am hearing.

You have realized and explained to us in detail of how severely dysfunctional both of your partners are and also how unhealthy and dysfunctional your relationships are with one another.

I don't think there is anyone on this forum who would disagree with that.

And- you have chosen a few classic justifications which will allow you to remain in them.

She loves me. She knows me so well. Etc. etc.

And- the most fascinating justifationof all is.....

Oh- well, I'm pretty F'd up too anyway.

I would suggest that you decide what level of emotional maturity you would like to experience in your life. I don't want to make any assumptions, but I might wonder if you came here in order to be confronted.

Your ability to justify living such a dysfunctional life is quite developed and may be fairly indestructable at this point.

If you do desire a more emotionally functional life, i would suugest that you find a psychiatrist or psychologist that you can work with.

I don't really see this as a poly issue, but you may get some good feedback here anyway!

Good luck and I hope you keep sharing!
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  #12  
Old 09-11-2013, 09:12 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is online now
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It definitely sounds like a good idea to look for a new counselor. A counselor who is poly-friendly, at the very least.

There's nothing harder than to pry yourself away from than an arrangement with a dysfunctional/toxic person. Believe me I know, I'm going through a bit of that kind of dilemma myself lately. It's enough to keep one awake with bags under their eyes at night. But I am lucky, in that I have two poly companions who are totally supportive of me, in spite of my many metaphorical warts. It is important to have an emotional support system you can fall back on.

I see that you are surrounded by a culture that condemns polyamorous ideas, which plays itself out in the way individuals act. If it's any consolation, I can assure you that the anti-poly bias exists worldwide. So you are not alone. That's why sites like Polyamory.com exist, so people can get moral support for life choices that they'd be condemned for in any other milieu. Once in awhile you can get lucky and find a physical poly group in your local area.

Only you can decide if and how long to ride out this situation with P1 and P2. I see that they both have many emotional issues (and a tendancy to act out inappropriately).

Sympathetically,
Kevin T.
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