Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-11-2013, 02:03 AM
idealist's Avatar
idealist idealist is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Welcome! I hope you find comfort here. There are a lot of really emotionally mature individuals here- so I hope you are able to find what you are looking for.

I read all of your posts and this is what I am hearing.

You have realized and explained to us in detail of how severely dysfunctional both of your partners are and also how unhealthy and dysfunctional your relationships are with one another.

I don't think there is anyone on this forum who would disagree with that.

And- you have chosen a few classic justifications which will allow you to remain in them.

She loves me. She knows me so well. Etc. etc.

And- the most fascinating justifationof all is.....

Oh- well, I'm pretty F'd up too anyway.

I would suggest that you decide what level of emotional maturity you would like to experience in your life. I don't want to make any assumptions, but I might wonder if you came here in order to be confronted.

Your ability to justify living such a dysfunctional life is quite developed and may be fairly indestructable at this point.

If you do desire a more emotionally functional life, i would suugest that you find a psychiatrist or psychologist that you can work with.

I don't really see this as a poly issue, but you may get some good feedback here anyway!

Good luck and I hope you keep sharing!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2013, 09:12 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,579

It definitely sounds like a good idea to look for a new counselor. A counselor who is poly-friendly, at the very least.

There's nothing harder than to pry yourself away from than an arrangement with a dysfunctional/toxic person. Believe me I know, I'm going through a bit of that kind of dilemma myself lately. It's enough to keep one awake with bags under their eyes at night. But I am lucky, in that I have two poly companions who are totally supportive of me, in spite of my many metaphorical warts. It is important to have an emotional support system you can fall back on.

I see that you are surrounded by a culture that condemns polyamorous ideas, which plays itself out in the way individuals act. If it's any consolation, I can assure you that the anti-poly bias exists worldwide. So you are not alone. That's why sites like Polyamory.com exist, so people can get moral support for life choices that they'd be condemned for in any other milieu. Once in awhile you can get lucky and find a physical poly group in your local area.

Only you can decide if and how long to ride out this situation with P1 and P2. I see that they both have many emotional issues (and a tendancy to act out inappropriately).

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 11:23 PM.