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Old 09-08-2013, 07:28 PM
nobodyswife nobodyswife is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
Default Hi I am new - just wanted a place to get this situation some perspective!

I am going to change and/or withhold some irrelevant details due to wanting to remain anonymous and not bump into someone involved while here. I am not ready for that just yet.

I am a divorced mother. Been single quite a number of years. Have had some fantastic fwb relationships but not a serious love in a very long time. Partly due to my own choices, partly for lack of meeting someone I was in love with.

So here we are now.

I decided to go online to meet some people just to sort of jazz up my free time and see what was out there. I did not go into it intending to meet anyone for LOVE and (you know where this is going) so I find myself a bit taken aback by the things that have occurred to this point..

He is my age. He is a very successful and busy professional. He is a beautiful person. He clicks with me on every possible level. Sexually, intellectually, emotionally, just every possibly way you can connect with a person. He isn't like the others, to put it as cliche as possible.

He is married. He identified himself and his marriage as poly and/or swinger immediately. He did not hide this fact. However I got the sense that their lifestyle was leaning more toward swinger and less toward poly in the way that they had not been in outside relationships before. The rules they have are basic and make sense. He has not broken them.

I find myself wondering about a great many things now. One, I am emotionally attached to this man and I am fighting that with great urgency due to my own past and my fear of being rejected and/or abandoned. This is my issue, not his. He is attentive and caring and very open and honest. Another of my issues is my own worthiness and why a man like this would want to pursue any kind of relationship with me but that is probably for another thread.

He has stated to me that this is something more than your average fwb situation and something that he wishes to pursue into the future. We haven't dropped the L bomb however it is there in the periphery of our conversation.

So the other worry I have is: how will wife see this? Will she remain OK with things as they've been, will she freak the hell out that her husband is in love, will she want to meet me? Will she like me if she does meet me? Will I have to like her?

How far should I let my heart go before knowing the answers? She is aware of my existence. She is not aware of his feelings yet. I think he is playing it cautiously with her. I don't accuse him of being dishonest. He isn't. I think this is just new for him also.
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