So this puts things where Iím telling Airyn no more. he canít see her, itís done. Iím not living like this. That this situation is not cool. and should not have happened.
So he starts trying to see her in secret. I find out.
He refuses to not see her, saying itís the principle of it.
This changes things. I tell him I will no longer participate in an intimate relationship with him while he is dating/pursuing his toxic relationship with Chipmunk. He moves his things out of our bedroom, and into the living room. Now he has the space to see her with less restrictions, other than not being able to use my car, and having no income of his own to spend on dating.
This makes for a stress filled few weeks. I start cutting Airyn off from the husbandly things he has always done for me. Like making my coffee, and lunch for work. I went off on him for having done so. Telling him that heís not my partner what the hell is he doing. And walk out the door for work not saying goodbye or offering to let him know when I make it to work. He panics when he realizes what happened. Itís several hours before I get online, and message him say that incase he wants to know I made it to work on time. I get some very angry, hurt, and upset responses to that. I tell him he chose to be in an intimate relationship with Chipmunk and to lose his intimate relationship with me.
So now heís saying he still wants to do all the THINGS for me he has always done. That it means something to him. Heís telling me he doesnít want our relationship to be over, just that we need to take a step or two back from it. So that he could have the space to continue his relationship with Chipmunk without hurting me. I tell him that I can not be in an intimate relationship with him while heís seeing her and not get hurt. That It will be hard enough to see him every day, love him the way I do, and know that his relationship with Chipmunk meant more to him than ours did. I told him he was getting what he wanted to still be able to live with me, and to keep seeing Chipmunk. (while Airyn is in the living room we take Wolf to spend her summer with her grand mother)
After a short time like this, Airyn tells me he wants to get closer to me. To be more than just friends and roommates. He tells me he wants to get back to the relationship we had before soon rather than later. I tell him Iíd like that, and remind him that I canít ďdateĒ him while heís dating Chipmunk. I find out that he has agreed to plans to spend Christmas with Chipmunk (at least 6 months in advance). I find out because I had asked to use his PC, and the messages were still pulled up. I didnít start yelling, but I did tell him that I was upset. That Iíd read those messages. I tell him that if he is serious about working things out with me then he wonít be spending Christmas with Chipmunk. I tell him he canít have it both ways. He canít get closer to me, and work on our relationship and tell Chipmunk that heíll be spending Christmas with her.
We donít typically celebrate Christmas at home, we do chanukah. However Wolf will get that time off from school, and will want to see her dad. He agrees that he was being too optimistic in agreeing to that request of Chipmunk. Iím telling him that when he said he wanted to make things work with me sooner, I felt he was talking soon, not sometime next year.
Mostly he and I were distant with each other, but sometimes we cuddled, there is still the same love between us. It is very difficult to live together, and not fall back into our family (husband/wife) patterns. Thing are actually getting easier between he and I. We talk better, and are better at comforting each other. Still not in a good place mentally and emotionally, but I have been slowly recovering from the quick unhealthy weight loss I had experienced. For me this is progress, slow that it is.
When we met Chipmunk I weighed about 140#, in Feb I had dropped to less about 108 (very much underweight and unhealthy). Airynís mom noticed, and got pissed at Airyn over his not seeing how ill I had become due to their relationship, and the damage it was causing. By the time Dance and Goth came to visit I was about 115#, today Iím at 122# which for me is healthy. At 140 I felt heavy, and not so happy with my shape. Mostly I just wanted to build some muscle. I consider myself to be a curvy girl. I had a shape, and wanted that back. I had (and have gained back) a round ass (often told I have ďjunk in my trunkĒ), a narrow waist, and a large ďrackĒ (to match my ass I guess). Any way in this last several week my friends have commented that Iím looking healthy, and sexy again. >.>
Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).
No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.
Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
|age difference, ffm, fmf, third partner, triad fallout, triads|