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  #21  
Old 02-17-2010, 08:06 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
True enough ceoli. I personally don't like to assume that people are judging at all.
I generally don't make such assumptions. But it has shown itself to be evident in conversations I've had, where it can be pretty easy to glean from the tone and the body language whether or not a person is judging. Plus I'm pretty direct in my communication about such things. If I perceive judgements, I'll call it out as just that: my perception. The ensuing conversations will usually reveal the truth behind such perceptions.
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  #22  
Old 02-17-2010, 02:32 PM
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Ya, I know those conversations too. I have been trying to avoid them entirely. I don't see any solution.
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Last edited by redpepper; 02-17-2010 at 02:35 PM.
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  #23  
Old 02-17-2010, 02:36 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Ya, I know those conversations too. I have been trying to avoid them entirely. I don't see any solution.
When you're working in sexuality education, it's a hard conversation to avoid.
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  #24  
Old 02-17-2010, 02:47 PM
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I see how it would be. It seems to be topic of the month around these here parts. I take my moments when I can. I need some balance.
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  #25  
Old 02-17-2010, 04:27 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Originally Posted by XYZ123 View Post
I am true bisexual and go into "man phase" and "woman phase" sexually, and always have. One sex does it for me and the other does nothing.
I like this. Because I think it exposes some hidden wisdom that maybe doesn't really get discussed ? Or maybe discussed enough.

I think everyone goes through various 'phases' in their life - not only with sexuality. And I think it's not really identified as such sometimes, which can lead to confusion & misunderstanding. Some people I think tend to latch on to that current 'phase' as some definition of who they are or what they believe and want to just dispose of any/every thing else.

Every time I see a lot of these conversations taking place about sexuality I see it as just our growing, learning & understanding of where sexuality fits into our lives. Our views and approach are very much phase related.
And I always drift back to the thought of "wouldn't it have been wonderful if much of this knowledge had been made available to us when we were 13 or 14 years old ?". Not encouraged but simply explained. We wouldn't have had to spend such enormous chunks of our lives stumbling around, making all these 'new' discoveries, figuring out what they mean to us. Making some sometimes serious mistakes. We'd have been more in a position of hitting those points of "Oh - I remember someone telling me about this once - now here it is"

And I think even as we learn where all this fits best within us we will continue to experience 'phases' keyed by our moods that are derived by what's happening in our life overall. I just feel it's wiser and more healthy to understand that phase relationship rather than to continually feel we have redefined ourselves and now need to throw out all we have learned and experienced before. You never know when another phase may come around that finds that old experience valuable.

If that makes any sense lol

GS
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  #26  
Old 02-20-2010, 11:28 PM
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There have been a couple times I've found myself excitedly getting into bed with gorgeous women... and suddenly being turned off by a certain lack of emotion on her part. In one case I didn't know what it was and she took it personally and started crying, which somehow put me back in the mood because she was being open with me. (I felt like a pervert because of it but I got over that pretty quick ) The other time it was a girl I'd been friends with for years and we were drunk on New Year's Eve. We started making out, and there was a shift in her mood, like I'd gone from being a friend to a one-night partner. I told her I needed more connection or emotion or something, I forget... (like I said, drunk. I'm pretty straight and ended up making out with a guy to turn her on.) ...and she tuned in and it was all good.

I love sex, even pretty casual sex, but there has to be some sort of emotional openness or I can't get it up. She has to want to be there in body, mind and heart, even if it's only for one night.

That's me.
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  #27  
Old 02-21-2010, 10:56 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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That's me.

And that is cool
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