I had lovely a lovely meeting and lunch with Kip. We made some plans for my birthday/anniversary, which happen 3 days apart. He was my present to myself Push the boundaries and delve into the world of open relationships. We rarely seem to discuss relationship items or issues, it is so easy.
I have seen prof twice. Various short discussions of relationship issues, mainly what is happening with S that effects what we do.
1) Could I remove one of my food preference items from my okc profile, as S has been asking why he is buying said item.
2) I get to leave a toothbrush, previously not allowed. He bought it up as I forgot my toothbrush again and he said I could have another new spare and leave it in the holder under the sink. I will not go into the details here, it makes S look super weird.
3) I mentioned that all these rules about minutiae coupled with veto make seeing him an uncomfortable experience sometimes. He agreed, said he would not be happy under similar circumstances, but appreciated that I did not go on about them.
4) S had been questioning his neighbors and female visitors, so we had to be "hyper vigilant about bonus nights". He spoke to her about "spying", this is an on going issue.
5) S is trying to get sleep overs removed from the list of permissible activities. He said he would not allow this to happen and is one thing he will really put his foot down about it.
This did not all happen at one time, he bought up these little snippits now and then during conversation.
At the mention of the no more sleepovers I drew a mental line in the sand in my head. I get that their open relationship rules are really about limiting outside partners to FBs.
Right at the beginning I said I was not looking for that. I am not prepared to do dinner and fuck. He said he wasn't looking for that, he had been up until recently (this was back in March/April) but had decided to cut out the sex partners (about 6 of them) and focus on on or two meaningful relationships. Turning over a new leaf kind of thing.
I did not say last night that the sleepovers would be the last straw, it is up to him to stand firm over it or not. I am not going pressure him. But I did say that their rules are their rules and govern their relationship, not ours. I will respect what he asks me to do in his home and in public and in no way deliberately create waves but neither am I going to let them limit my actions.
His birthday is coming up just after mine, I have a super gift idea and gifts are not allowed under their rules, well phooey to that...burn it in the bbq if you want.
There's a contradiction, not deliberately make waves but go ahead and buy him a gift. Oh crap.
Change of subject. Yo disappeared mid-text scheduling conversation on Saturday with a "BRB". He reappeared yesterday. It was a family medical emergency. Ms Impatient here, was all for cutting him off at the knees.
No plans were finalized to see him this week. I really don't think we should restart the relationship. We are on such different pages.
Me: 40s female
Prof: 50s male.
Kip: 50s male.