Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-03-2013, 09:42 PM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 336
Unhappy Is it wrong to cancel a date

because the guy isn't tall enough? I know it might seem petty but honestly I have this "quirk" (must add this to blog) about men and it just doesn't seem fair to them even though I'm short (5'2). Once I meet a guy and they aren't 5'11 or taller, my physical attraction to them disappears. I've been like this for over 20 years now too.

And then since I haven't actually met him yet, how do I break it to him his height has disqualified him. He's the first guy on okc that didn't put his height on there. I usually don't respond if the guy is shorter than what I have found myself drawn to.

Then I wonder, what if I am missing out on a true connection? I am trusting my intuition on this and know I need to let him know I can't meet. I just don't know what to text him.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-03-2013, 09:56 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,868
Default

"sorry I am just not into you"...

I am 6'5 and very broad shouldered with beard.. a lot of girls just aren't into me. It happens and thats fine. Not everyone can be attracted to every physical attribute.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-03-2013, 10:29 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 938
Default

I used to think I could only date guys taller than me.

I was an idiot. If I would have held onto the delusion that height makes the man I would have lost out on Murf who quite frankly is one of those once in a lifetime kind of people . I have never loved another like him. Not even my husband. I am 5'7". He is 5'6"
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-03-2013, 10:33 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,838
Default

It's neither wrong or right.

You don't seem like you want to go.
Quote:
I am trusting my intuition on this and know I need to let him know I can't meet. I just don't know what to text him.
Could keep it simple and say "I'm so sorry. I changed my mind so I can't meet. I apologize."

And let it go.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 09-03-2013 at 10:36 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-04-2013, 12:33 AM
alibabe_muse's Avatar
alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 336
Default thank you

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
It's neither wrong or right.

You don't seem like you want to go.


Could keep it simple and say "I'm so sorry. I changed my mind so I can't meet. I apologize."

And let it go.

Galagirl

GG you are great with words! Yes I have made up my mind. His pic on okc doesn't quite look the same as the two he sent me today. He also looks too much like DH, just shorter.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-04-2013, 03:43 PM
Newbipoly Newbipoly is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: In Northern California.
Posts: 14
Default ;)

The one guy I dated (many years back mind you) that was shorter than me admitted to crying everyday. So I am probably not the best to answer.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-04-2013, 03:50 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 358
Default

I used to date guys over 6 foot...then I married a man whos 5'10 and hot as hell to me. I always teased him that I;d made an exception....Well, my boyfriend is maybe 5'8. It happens, give the guy a shot *(and im not tall either, im about 5'5)
__________________
keep on keeping on
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-04-2013, 03:51 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 358
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
"sorry I am just not into you"...

I am 6'5 and very broad shouldered with beard.. a lot of girls just aren't into me. It happens and thats fine. Not everyone can be attracted to every physical attribute.
A lot of women arent into that?!
__________________
keep on keeping on
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-04-2013, 04:23 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,483
Default

I admit I've got a thing for tall men too. My ex of 30 years was just my height. Before I met him I'd also been attracted to taller men. I'm 5'7" and somehow swoon over guys 6 foot tall or preferably taller. It's strange.

Ginger is 6'3". miss pixi is only 5'4" but that's ok because she's a girl!

I am kind of ashamed of my preference for tall men. But there you go. They make me feel little and protected I guess. Which is stupid because I like being tall and powerful.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-04-2013, 04:42 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,868
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
A lot of women arent into that?!
You would be surprised.. I have met women repulsed by beards.. height etc. Its kind of funny to me..

Last edited by Ariakas; 09-04-2013 at 04:45 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
decision-making, independence

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:03 PM.